Nights Daybreak's blog

Sometimes I wish I could be a cloud
Free floating form place to place.

Instead, I’m like a mussel
I need something to cling to
Without fear of falling off.

Entering the room
Waves of heat rolling over me.

In heals and a very long skirt
I took my place in the orchestra.

We started with Global Warming
A fantastic piece.

Not about the heating of the atmosphere
But the warming of culture after thw cold war.

From there we moved onto Nimrod
From the Enigma Variations

And then to the Academic Festival Overture
By Brahms.

After it was done, and the aplause was over
I realized what a musical achievement I had made.

I really just don't know
How to say this to you.

I know you like me,
Its obvious.

That, I don't mind
I couldn't really care less
What you do with your feelings.

But what you do at night,
I can't accept.
I don't think I can ever
Sleep in the same room as you.

Its my body, mine alone
And I don't want you near it.

I don't know how
To tell you this to your face.

Because I do love you
But not like that.

And I never will be able to,
Because you're my cousin.

For a while now
You've been telling me to join.
Get an account,
You say.

What if I told you
I've had one for months
And I have known everything
You have thought and felt.

What would you think of me then?

Lately, I've been feeling different,
Its wierd
And I'm not really sure
What I'm thinking.

Everytime I talk to you,
My mood skyrockets
And I really enjoy being around you
And observing.

I really am uncertain
About how I feel,
And I fear something
Inside me has changed.

But I know that its impossible,
For more than one reason.
So I just keep my feelings
Bottled up inside.

A story I heard from my friend's two year old sister.
You gotta wonder where these things come from...

Well...
Theres a bad mermaid who stole his gold,
And put it in a bag and then..
Then...
And then
And then he
And so he and his mom came
And than he put his arm around them
And he marries
And then they
And than they...
They maried and ate food and cookies after dinner.

I have you again.
And its strange,
Because its not like before.

For sometime,
There was a rift between us
And the going was not easy.

It was like a bridge,
Suspended over an endless
Creavice in the earth.

It seperated two meadows,
Each so beautiful
Yet so different.

We were stuck on that bridge
And I was hoping
It wouldn't fall.

And at times
I made mistakes

To You the first:
I miss you so much,
You who are halfway around the world.
I think of you everyday,
And wait for you to come back.

To You the second:
I can't believe I did that to you,
After I made a promise
To you, and myself
Please forgive me...

To You the third:
You over reacted
You're bordering on obsession.
Think of me, think of what I want
Please try.

I saw your reaction when you heard
And I laughed,
And cried at the same time.

I laughed because I am free,
Because I'm me,
And I can do what I want.

I cried because you still
Hold on to me
And it makes me sad.

Have you ever felt the need to say sorry?
A word that signifies many things

But have you ever experienced a moment
Where you want to use that word
But it means nothing?

It sounds empty hollow and untrue
It can't even begin to express the feelings
That are welling within you...

But you say it
You want them to understand
The words that sound so hollow

These feelings consume,
Devouring me...

I can feel it
Feel him...

Days spent in each other company
Each others names on our lips...

With no sign of an end
For it just began...

In my dreams...

After so long it finally happened

People had joked
And they had laughed
At the very idea.

They talked about it
Saying it would be ironic.

We talked about it saying
It would be ironic.

But little do they know,
It happened.

I still only half believe it
But either way I'm happy...

It's my new beginnig.

I know you are hurting
I know you are sad
But I needed to end it
I’ve said it before.

My life had been
Completely taken over
By you.

I needed some freedom
A chance to move.

All of this I’ve told you before
I’ve tried to make it clear
To make you understand.

But you don’t.
So I’m sorry if you still hurt
I’ve tried
But this is in your hands now.

ok so this one has some swears in it so if you don't want swears don't read it.

Maybe they were for you
Mere illusions of myself…
Fucking bastard you have no right,
Wallowing in self pity
Jacking off to the thought of my memory
Blaming me and everyone else
Damn it.

We had a conversation today

Two good friends.

Nothing awkward or unusual,

Like not that long ago.

Thanks for talking with me

As my friend,

Even though I broke your heart.