sinisterVT's blog

Who calls the shots?
Who told the lies?
Who put the money down?

Who made a vow?
Who kept it a secret?
Who glanced at his watch?
Right as he drove around?

Who paid the money?
Late at night
Paid so that man would sway
And fall

Who held the gun?
Who pulled the trigger?
Who heard the bullet cry?

Who had a meeting?
Who answered the questions?
And didn't quite tell them why

But

Who made it so easy?
Who changed the channel?
Who didn't quite care?

Who never really asked?
Who never really knew?
Who never really wanted to bear?

The inconvenience

But who banged the drum
Who rioted in the streets?
Who threw that bottle of flame

Who made it hard?
Who asked the questions?
Who marches out in the rain?

Only the next to be the next in line
For the snipers sight
Only to be the next to die tonight
Because we didn't ask why
Because we were comfortable
Because we made it easy for them to lie

And so you told me over our brief phone conversation
The first one in a while
My heart relieved to hear the high and low notes of your voice
But all in the happy cord of E major
E Major the Base of my Bass playing
Your voice the base of my reality
Your voice seemed so happy to hear my low notes
Sustenance for now,
While I am not with you and you are not with me
And so you told me
Your internet was down but you could still email
You can’t answer your phone but you can still call me
Only if I pick up
And then you’re leaving for you didn't mention how long
And so I now think to myself
Of what I'll have to keep holding on
I'll have your emails
Your messages
The book you gave me
The music that inspires me to think of you (all I am listing to right now)
Your scribbles on the wall of my heart
And your poetry
One more probably before you leave
I'm printing it
So every morning I can wake up with a bit of you on my table

I can’t stop listening to your voice
That little recorded message from the call
That I missed at 10:01 this morning
Oh your voice
Its subtle tones and reassurance of the future
Ringing through my phone into my ear
both of which seem to be falling apart
My only use for them now is to receive that call
That one tone that I've been waiting for
I missed it the first try
And I'm still hitting myself for missing
I've been waiting
So I can only sit wait and wish that you could step out of my phone
And be the only part of my life that isn't currently in danger of falling Apart.

I wanna hear a poem" By: Steve Colman
I wanna hear a poem
I wanna learn something I didn't know
I wanna say 'YES' at the end
Because I'm sick of saying 'so?'

I wanna hear a poem about who you are
and what you think
and why you slam
not a poem about my poem
because I know who I am
I wanna hear a love poem a sad poem an I hate my
dad poem
a dream poem an I'm not what I seem poem
an I need poem an I also bleed poem
an I'm alone poem an I can't find my home poem
I just wanna hear poem
I wanna hear a poem about revolution
about fists raised high
and hips twisting in a rumble
like a rumba
I wanna follow the footsteps of Che
and hear the truth about the day
the CIA killed Lumumba
And because every second matter
I wanna hear long poems and short poems
about time and its limits
because it took less than three minutes
to attack Abner Louima
to frame Assata Shakur
and destroy Hiroshima
to kill Elanor Bumpers
and Anthony Baez
to gun down Malcolm with

I laugh in your face writer’s block
I've found I'm not so occupied by trying to get away you
because I know
You play silly games with me
And I'm willing to play a while
Lets go dance for a while
While my pen lays motionless
Lets go on the swings while I leave my thoughts to them self’s
And take a break for a while
I'll play your games
But it’s my world
And I'm only playing with you
Until she writes back.

Sorting through memories and thoughts of her
There faint kisses on the water
Looking down at her checking gazing
Sitting on the rocks
Her face
The way we both walked funny and held hands to steady ourselves
A Kiss held in time with a picture I keep away
The only physical portrait of our relationship
Her music
My music
Her eyes only saw mine
Now looking away
Were it all came to a screeching halt
When she decided she didn't know.

All I could do was watch
Her Kiss in black in white
Her clothing in neon
Her hair in brown
Smile of blue
And shadow of Grey

Let’s put an end to it.
Her memories must be lost.
They have been.
They shall be.
All scathing thoughts blown past by the friendship that is now solid.
Her little toy now sits at her lap
And looks back at me in a glare.
I chuckle.
It's over.

And the ever present tickle when She of all people
Enters my thoughts
Red tape wrapped around her
All over
Do I feel it now?
No

The bassist stood and watched in awe
The cellist
Bow streaking across the strings in a blur
So much different then his thick low strings
Which have been dancing the same old notes lately
A rhythm so much different then hers
Slow down now
Listen to her beauty
Watch the technique
Turn down the speaker
A different higher mood to her bow
He could not move
Their eyes met
He looked away embarrassed
But she knew.
Knew he had been watching
She knew she was now dancing through his head
To her own melody at her own tempo
Her silver bow now playing soft melodies across his heart
And he couldn’t help but listen
Turning down the amplifiers of the rest of the world
Only focusing on her beauty
Now picking up his own instrument in return
The bass matching her melody with a hesitant undertone
And subtle hints
She had him now
Tethered to the web of notes she was now wrapping him in
He could only listen and watch
Entranced

You are a question mark.
I dub thee as such.
I'm not quite sure what to do about you.
How little I know and how much I do.
I'm very hesitant about anything I say.
Because of how it might be misread.
Or mistaken.
Or misunderstood.
Over our little text boxes.
But how could you, because we seem to be so alike,
your poetry not so unlike mine.
does that make us alike? who knows.
So little I know.
What does your voice sound like?
Do you always speak in exactly the right way all the time?
Hopefully not. That would put way to much pressure on both of us.
I want to grab the pendulum in the clock,and push it back and forth faster, and faster.
The old cogs churning at a brake neck pace in anticipation of our coming meeting.
So time speeds up
I want to slow it down to almost a halt when I see you.
And I get less time to think and more time to act.
I want it to be us and everyone else just whooshing by us.
By.
By.
By.
us.

Peoples fear is what brings them too hate
Change is what people fear
A change in the day
A change in the night
A change in the light
Fear in the dark
Distrust breeds hatred
And hatred brings destruction
Destruction too keeps from change
Change is what we need
And people have to die for it
You have to be willing to see to the end
Even if it’s your end
End all suffering
End all killing
End the strife
"If I was president, I'd get elected on Friday, Assassinated on Saturday, buried on Sunday"
Fear of change brings murder

Your outstretched hands reach towards the sun, from your island on the rocks
Eyes open wide looking outward through the storm, on the horizon
Hair shimmering in the wind like peaces of the night, the stars in your eyes.
Your face set to the west
Hands reaching to the sky
Legs running to freedom
You told me about the other side across the water
The sun cutting through the clouds
The shimmers on the water
And I believed
Only you
Only you can bring me back from the silence
Only you can bring me back from the dark
Like an angels hand, taking mine and saying
"It will all be alright"
Your words giving light to the darkness reveling the wrongs
too which I was blind
To see without you
To see what you can reveal with only a glance and a sigh
To see how beautiful you have become
So see your glimmering smile when I have nothing left in me but a silent shade
A soft embrace seems all I need
All I need to see you
When you are all that I need

I resisted today.
I couldn't stop myself I had to say something.
As soon as I did they all went silent.
I was dead.
I didn’t exist to the people around me anymore.
I had to hide.
They would soon remember who I was and make me disappear.

They turned the lights out today.
I locked my doors and watched the windows.
The sun is always clearer at night.
Watching ever so closely at the wandering streets and everlasting darkness.
I watched the cemetery for signs of life.
They are always leaving people there.

They knocked on my door today I didn't answer.
I knew they stayed there for what must have been a week.
I stayed in place for what could have been a month.
They broke in today and couldn't find me.
I was lying still.
I was dead.
But one man saw through me.
My old best friend I thought it may be.
But no he wasn't him anymore none of them were.
I was the only person left.
They were all a part of the machine.
And I got away.

I never thought i would fall so far into the rut
down into the assimilated
the workings of the system so rusty and so dirty
I've strayed to far from the allies and little bits land
that i used to call my own
the back sides of my mind
Were I bring inspiration from have all grown dusty
I've gone to far from what is the abnormal and beautiful
back to the normal and dull.
the outside alludes me
while the inside confines me into a box
its been to long since i ran along the roof tops
on the heights of Indy
i used to run along the allies filled with artwork on the walls
only i knew of them only i could sit and stop and notice
but now i pass by and a blind eye to the little things
the small allies leading to the missing cities
the unknown is what I've lost
the obscure and foggy that i used to enter fearlessly to grasp the unknown in the palm of my hand.
but not anymore
I've become normal
normal
this must stop

so I just read this one over again and i figured out how much i liked it so i added some verses, tell me what you think.

sinister

"Eyes"

Your eyes, they seem empty tonight
They seem as though your hiding it
I can see through my eyes
Your blue
My brown
You look at me from across the room staring blankly in my general direction
What are you thinking?
Is it the same as I?
No
Your eyes pierce me with deceit and loathing
With lies and scorn
Your eyes confirm what I have feared
But they look into me, look through me
And I see me
I see you
I see what I thought I’ve needed
But nothing works
Nothing ever works
But you have only brought pain and confusion
It seems as though it is better to just sit hear
Peering through my minds info-red eyes,
Seeing the outline of your betrayal
coming in less hazy by the second
I look at you and see how it will all end
I sit and hear
I sit and look
I sit
I cannot get up to say “ I need you”

How could I have ever let you sink so low?
How could I have ever let you drink so deep?
How could I have ever let you stay were you where
How could I have ever let you stay one inch away from my gaze
How could I have ever let you stumble and no pick you up?
How could I have ever let you fall so far, and move into the darkens
Why cant I step in front of you and say, enough is enough
Instead of pouring it all into that bottle
Pour what’s left of your soul into me
And let me be what you rely on to keep you happy
Let me be your addiction
Let me keep you away
Let me show you everything
But how could I have ever done that?

(Chorus)
Follow me into the dark
From this place and leave all of the marks
That they have left on you
Follow me without knowing
Just exactly were we are going
I'm taking you to a better place
So come now let’s leave this place
Let us fly from hear without a trace
And now you must follow me

This town has left us beaten and tattered
And you are marked with scars, town and battered
The fog has decided down and threes no telling when they will strike
But all I know is that we must get out and if you will follow me tonight
So come with me and meet me at my door,
Because I can show you things you've never seen before

(Chorus)
Follow me into the dark
From this place and leave all of the marks
That they have left on you
Follow me without knowing
Just exactly were we are going
I'm taking you to a better place
So come now let’s leave this place
Let us fly from hear without a trace
And now you must follow me

Now they come in masks for me
To take me away under lock and key
They plan to silence my thoughts and bound my eyes
To shut me up left to die
I know too much I've seen the outside
And now they must keep me from getting to far, into the truth that they try to hid
I’m leaving tonight and you must come with me
I can’t bear to leave without you beside me
Follow me without a doubt and I’ll take you to the light
Follow me now because I need you tonight

(Chorus)
Follow me into the dark
From this place and leave all of the marks
That they have left on you
Follow me without knowing
Just exactly were we are going
I'm taking you to a better place
So come now let’s leave this place
Let us fly from hear without a trace
And now you must follow me

Come with me and we'll taste the rain
Leave this blackened place and never feel the pain
The sun will lick our shoulders and we will fly in the air
Without any worry, without any sorrow, without any care