Ann's blog

The simple pleasure
Of holding someones hand
Of knowing that someone cares
The simple pleasure
Of the moon's bright light
On the sparkling snow below
The simple pleasure
OF walking where you've walked before
And knowing you have become something more
More than who you were
Than what people said you were before
The simple pleasure
Of feeling the world move beneath you
The whisper of your own breath
Sliding through the air
The simple pleasure of knowing you'll still be there

The simple pleasure
Of holding someones hand
Of knowing that someone cares
The simple pleasure
Of the moon's bright light
On the sparkling snow below
The simple pleasure
OF walking where you've walked before
And knowing you have become something more
More than who you were
Than what people said you were before
The simple pleasure
Of feeling the world move beneath you
The whisper of your own breath
Sliding through the air
The simple pleasure of knowing you'll still be there

Hmm? I ask from across the room
My voice soft
In morning silence
Flopped across my bed you lie
Your sweater hanging from my desk
Your eyes still closed
But you mumble
“Where are you going”
“Why?”

“Hush,” I murmur with a smile
I love you so
“I’ll be back in a sec”
“Kay,” you grumble back

I tiptoe out
Your snoring rising once more
I hear it from outside the door
As I creep down the hall
To the kitchen light

Wow
Here we are
You and I
The universe
Open for discovery
I see the glimmer in your eyes
See the warmth of your smile

It begins tonight
Beneath the stars
Wow.
I’ve never felt so close before
Here we are
You and I
Ready to just be us
Ready to lie in each others arms

Wow
This feels so right
It feels
Like it always should have been
Here we are
You and I
And I'm ready to begin
The rest of my life
How about you?

The breeze was cooler today he thought as he shuffled up the paved driveway his backpack slung casually over one shoulder. The garage door opened with the familiar and soothing groan. He pulled the keys from the door and entered the darkness.
Hanging from the ceiling was a bare bulb. He turned it on and the inside of the garage was revealed as a messy workspace to say the least. Papers scattered the desk in the far corner, cascading onto the floor. Shelves hung on the wall, so many you could barely tell what color the wall was. Upon these sat photograph after photograph of smiling people, frozen in time.
The floor was dusty and dirty but he didn’t mind. He didn’t even notice the filth around him; his mind had room for only one thing. His shoes squeaked quietly as they moved quickly across the floor after shutting the door behind him. Hanging from a ripped desk chair was the powder blue Alabama sweatshirt that still smelled like her.

I feel so lonely
Like I'm standing
On a wind swept hill
And I look aroound and find
Nothing but big, vast emptiness

It's such an aching pain.
A swelling wave
Of tears
So hot they burn my face

I sleep with my arms
Curled around my legs
As if to protect myself
Against the frigid world
Against the weight that silences
My softly beating heart
Did you know that?

I feel so empty
Like the tree thats lost all it's leaves
And stands bare beneath
A clouded sky

I feel so lonly
So tired
Hurt
The tears
So hot
They burn my face

I knew.
All along.
But I still wondered why.

You smiled and walked away.
I had known
All along.
But you still found me.
Sobbing.
Why?

These were my friends
These were the people who cared
This was my life unraveling before me
That no amount of duct tape could fix
These were my friends
That helped me to my feet
And pushed me forward
"Keep going!"
They said
These were my friends
Who understood these tears
These were my freinds who pulled me through
And now that I'm back on my feet
I just wanted to say
THANKS
For picking up my shattered pieces
And putting them back together
I owe you for that

For him I will tolerate this pain.
I will allow
Even
Embrace this pain if it helps him
If it can heal him

For him I will smile through tears
I will watch him
Walk hand in hand
With her
And I will walk
Across miles
Of broken glass
If it makes his heart have peace

If to see him smile
I must burn with jealousy
And hurt
Than I will find a place
To hold those emotions to myself
His smile
Is that worth it

I've hurt him so bad
My pain now
It's like an eye for an eye
I'm learning the agony
I had taught him before

To see the light in his eyes again
To see him with a passion
For life
Even (gulp)
For Her

It is worth it
Even if he will never again
See in me
What I have always seen in him

I worry so much about him
I would take all the pain away
If I could
I would place it all on me
If only I knew how
For him I will embrace this pain

I dare you to feel
What you feel deep inside
I dare you to remember
The last shinning moment
The last smile you shared
Last wish that you wished

I dare you
To stare down the heavens
And wish upon stars
Dance upon clouds that float by

I dare you to dream
To dream with your heart
To dream with an open mind
I dare you to cry
When you can't take any more
Then stand up and smile wide

I dare you to feel
What the world has to offer
Before the chance passes by

Behind that door
There is a story
That's been locked in my heart
'till today
A world of voices
And stories
Fading with every year
That crumbles
And blows away

Summer skies
Melting down on me

Silently watching
Time pass by

Suspended in a moments breath
The sound of music's
Farwell dance

Sweet tangerine kisses
of innocence
Passing swiftly by

I saw you
That day my eyes were wet
With tears
Saw how she leaned
Into you
How you held her up
While I was falling

I saw you
The smile you gave her
The touch of your hand
That was never
Meant for me

I couldn't look away, couldn't look away from those eyes. They held so much pain, so many unshed tears. The warrmness in that set of brown eyes that I had come to know and love had left, the honey drained out of them. But it wasn't just the eyes.

It was the whole face I couldn't look away from. The way his face looked so much older, and suddenly darker. I saw in his face at that moment what I had never seen before. It was terrifying to see the look of sheer resentment toward me. My eyes burned in disgust at myself , with the appology on the tip of my toungue. The appology I never spoke because it was already too late.

I couldn't look away from the face that told me it was too late to appologize, too late to go back, to get back what I had just destroyed. His eyes were puppy dogs that had been hit one time to many, and it was me who had hit him.

We were laughing
Our laughter was ringing
We were together
Together we were us
We thought that the day would last forever
Together we watched it slip away

We were laughing
About us
We were together
Together we were us
We were silence
Together we knew that meant the world
We cared for each other
It was us against them
Us against the world

We were laughing
Because we knew each other
Together we wanted more
We saw in each other
What each of us lacked
When we were us
We were laughing
Cause the day was bright
We were laughing
When we were us