Skatergirl95's blog

It seems like it's been ages,
since I've talked to you.
I've changed,
you've changed,
the world has changed.

It's like I've been frozen,
for 10 years.
Everyone has grown up,
got married,
and passed,
and now I'm here talking to you.

All of my friends are gone,
all of my family is gone,
but here I am and so are you.

It's amazing how you went,
and then everything else went,
that I was blind to.
But you came back
or did I come to you?

When you went you told me to take care of myself
then you asked me to not let go of who I am
for that we we'll see each other again.

Now I tell you that I love you
and ask you to love me back.

I shall never be so blind again.

Preface
I only reached the middle of the hall before people recognized who I was. I tried to not make eye contact but it didn't work. Everyone came to one conclusion...

Chapter 1
They thought I was dying on the inside. They thought that my happiness was all an act. Maybe it was, somedays, but not today. Today was just a normal day for me, only I looked different to them. My match of clothes wasn't the brightest but it wasn't changing who I was.
"The cuts on my hands aren't what you think. My cat scratched me when I was sleeping, she does that a lot. They aren't what you think there from." I cried out. They didn't believe me though.
"Yeah right." They all said. I knew what they thought and I knew there was nothing to change there minds. Once they think something there's nothing changing it but tangible facts. So what was I to do? How was I supposed to find tangible facts?

Aiuto mi sto affogando
Aiuto mi che sto morendo
Aiuto mi sono morti

If only you could understand me.

I
am
the
best at
being me.
I find
confusing
others better
than
it should
be.
Now
I bet
you're
wondering why
what
I'm
doing.
I think
I'm being me.
I
am
the
best at
being me.
I
am
tired of
you're
attitude
so I'm
going
to do
what
I want.

We walked in silence
only us to and the beach
I tried to see through you
and all you did was hold my hand

next time I see you
I won't even try
'cause you think it's all a lie
that I really, truely love you
it's not, you know,
you just don't trust me so

Everyday I miss you
in everyway I cry
and every thing I do
it reminds me of you
no matter what you do

Cammino giù la spiaggia
che guarda l'acqua che
il tramonto bello
dentellare, purples, onde
degli azzurri che arrestano
la foschia che fa galleggiare sulla testa
della spiaggia I nella testa spessa
della foresta al mio punto favorito
la mia roccia favorita
in cui posso sedere
lo sguardo fuori attraverso l'oceano
e guardare il sole
scomparire

I'm sick of you
babying me
I don't need you
to do that for me
your supposed to be
one of my friends
let me live free
please let this end
I am capable
of doing this myself
I don't need your help
my own mother
is better than you
she has seen
what I can do
I think you need
to see too.

Am I jumping to conclusions
when I say that you copy me?

Would it be copying...
if I had a favorite color
and then shortly after
you liked that color too?

Would it be copying...
if I liked this character
(you liking this character too)
and then I start liking another character
(one that you thought was annoying just like me)
so that I could be diferent
so that I could have my own oppinion
and then you go and do the same?

I feel bad
if that is the case
meaning that you can't be
unique
meaning that you can't
be your own person
meaning that you have to follow
and not be a leader

well it's getting on my nerves
everytime I try to be different
and then you follow
I'm trying hard now
and it's not working

If I said that you were copying me
you would probably say "no your copying me"

then could I call that copying?

Dear Mean Girl,
Get away you overactive, over absesive, back stabbing, fool.

Dear Sweet Girl,
Lets hang out! Love ya!! ;)

Dear Nerdy Girl,
...

To BFF,
Your my best friend in the whole world. Don't worry what other people are saying; like how your overactive and back stabing. None of that's true. You should know that. People only hate you because they want to be like you. Forget about the rude comments just think about the positive ones.
~*BFF*~

No matter where I go I can't seem to find a way out...

I take one step closer
the little alarm goes off in my head
I shouldn't do what I'm about to do
I know it's wrong
I'm still going to though
I take another step closer
looking over the edge
it's a long way down
a lot of free falling
with nothing to catch me
I let myself go
falling head first
it felt like ages
just falling and falling
then I realized that
I wasn't falling
someone was holding me
I looked up to see who it was
they had tears in their eyes
rolling down their cheeks
"Why did you try?"
I didn't answer
he pulled me up
and embraced me
that was all I wanted
but not for this reason
so I let my tears come out too.

Can you see how much pain I'm in?
Apparintly not your to busy with yourself
not noticing others
not carring about others
just yourself
in you own little word
where everything is perfect

I'm sorry I'm moving on
I only care about people
who care about me
and your just not that kind of person

so go on
you will see
that maybe you'll find
another like me
they won't care
about what you do
or what you say
there done with you

so here's the end
I'm finally through
and don't have to think
anything of you.

Cold sweeps over my body
the rain pelting at my face
the thunder boomming in the background
it's dark and cold
I can barely see whats infront of me
I'm in mud up to my knees
will this be the end?
I feel my body getting weaker
my vision starts to blur
I can only see black

my body is numb now
I can't move
I lay in the mud
staring at the water running by my face
I need to keep going
I have to keep going
...

Leave me hear
go away
don't come back
another day

I've been too sad
too depressed
to have you hear
by my side

don't try to understand
cause I don't
not even a counsiler
can help me

turn away
it's ok
just don't watch
and don't come back
you'll just be stained
with my blood
and what used to be
my presence

If you are my friend then why do you turn your back?

This
is
not
how
I
want
this
to
end.

Will you be there for me?

No
cause
your
not
here.

This is tough; will you help?

Your
to
buisy
forget
it.

I know you want to look away
you try everyday
but your eyes seem to stay
never going stray

I might look different then the others
I might not act the same
but I beg of you to do one thing
don't find me to blame

If I was to die right now would you cry?
If I was to get hurt would you comfort me?
If I was to runaway would you come with me?

If I died I wouldn't know if you cried.
If I was to get hurt you might not come.
If I was to runaway you might not come find me.

What if you did though?
What if I knew?
What if you said you loved me?
Then what would you do?

He catches me when I fall
Kisses me when I'm hurt
Hugs me when I'm cold
So why am I so confused
If all of these are true?

My head is pounding
I see white in all directions
my hands and feet cold
my lungs burning
my body starts to become numb
I reach out for you
you aren't there
if I could feel only the tears rolling down my cheaks
your soft smooth skin
your strong hold when you hug me
but it's to late
I'm falling into a never ending sleep

I hear nothing
I see nothing
I feel nothing
your words can't hurt me
and nothing you do will stop me
so why do you try?
you can if you want
it would be a waste
because I'm stronger than that
and whatever is inside me
is not going to stop

I lay there in the sand
waves washing over my feet
sun soaking my face
all I hear are the waves
pull, crash, pull, crash

breathing in with the pull
and out with the crash
so relaxed
so calm
so real
and only hearing the waves
pull, crash, pull, crash

as I let myself
sink into the sand
I wonder why
life can be so grand
no matter how bad it gets
or hard it may seem
it gets better in time
almost like a dream
and when it gets good
all I can hear
is the pull, crash, pull, crash

I must have fallen asleep
for when I woke up
the sand was cool
and the sky was black
in a distance
I could see
the sun had painted
with red, pinks, and purple
all I listened to was the
pull, crash, pull, crash

You watch me,
you scare me,
you wanted to be with me,
the way you watch,
how your always there,
it creeps me out,
stay out of my hair,
make some space,
stay away,
but it gets worse,
day by day,
now you hate me,
I wonder why,
you saw what I wrote,
I don't care if you cry.

I tear my hair out with frustration,
pound the wall with anger,
curl up in a ball with sadness,
sleep all day with depression,
stare at nothing with confusion,
look down at my hands with embaressment,
smile at her with happyness,
skate with passion,
take meds. with sickness.

What am I?
You can guess,
I terorize,
you do the rest,
if you blow,
I get stronger,
making me last,
a little bit longer,
some people like me,
others don't,
try and fight me,
no you wont,
I'm to strong,
you know that,
I can be anywhere,
that your at,
you may regret,
that I am here,
put me out,
I disappear.

If you've read the book Twilight and loved it you should totally watch the trailer. What stinks about it though is that they aren't what you picture them as. I can't wait till the movie comes out!!! Tell me what you think!!!

As I lay there
in the mud
I think of what
I've become
the secret is
no one gets it
thats why
I cry
it seems so simple
but it's not
and no one relates
so I let the rain
drip down my face
leting is wash
away my pain
untill I can see
why it is
and how I got
to where I am

You tremble
you cry
your scared
but why
you need
to know
that it
will be
alright
in time

you seek
something
beyond
what is you
why
you just
need to

hold on
pretty girl
hold on
scared girl
it will be
ok
in time

Your in a dark room
there's no way out
the walls start to move in
closer and closer
you grab your razor
cut three times
you start to cry
not of pain but of stupidity
you realize that it's stupid
but already done
and now you can only say goodbye
the walls get even closer
no air left
you exhale
and then your done

He gave me flowers
kissed my cheak
made me feel special
whenever he could
we had fun
in the good days
when it would be
just him and I
he came to my house
one night
I walked into the room
I saw him on the floor
his blood soaking the rug
his face pale
O MY GOD
I thought
I saw headlights shining into the window
I heard a bang
the sound of a gun
then I was on the floor too
next to him
I heard a siren
then it all went dark

Next thing I remember was the beeping of the moniter
my eyes slowly opened
I heard my mothers voice
"She's awake"
she said
"Where is he?"
I asked in a dry voice
"Who sweety?"
she said softly
"my boyfriend"
"he's not hear"
her voice sounded sad
"Then where is he?"
my voice cracked a bit
"He's dead honey"
she said sadly and walked out of the room
my eyes started to water
tears rolling down my eyes
my chest bouncing like it does when I cry
all I did was cry
I cryied myself to sleep

I had a dream
it was about him and me