Nov 06

I Let Go

The voices are to loud.
My heart speeds up.
I look all around.
My fingers twich and shake
my feet don't stay in their place.
I pause.
Take a breath and breathe.
I really breathe. 
the voices have stopped.
and I let go... 
I let go of my tension.
I channel my emotions into my voice.
I let go.
I sing and as I sing, I exhale 
and it's like a weight has been lifted
I realize how much I was carrying
and I sing it out.
I sing out my emotions 
My heart slows down.
My hands stop shaking.
and my knees relax 
I let go

 
Nov 03

If You Were To See Me

If you were to see me, you'd notice a Muslim with a blue backpack. If you were to see me you'd see how I'd try to avoid eye contact but would stare you down if I caught you looking at me. You'd notice how out of place I was, my stance laid back eyes straight ahead ignoring the noise. but would switch which foot is holding my weight, shuffle my feet, or move my knees back and forth. How annoyed yet expressionless I was. You'd notice that I shiver, despite the sweater and play with my hands.if you were to listen to me you'd notice my alto crisp voice laced with sarcasm, and my quick vocal tones from light and happy to monotone and deep, but this change is so subtle I only notice after the change after awhile.
If you were to smile or say 'Hi' you'd notice how automatic the reply is, whether its a hey, smile, hi, wave, or the glance in invitation.
Nov 02

VAIN? or DESIRE

Am I going crazy, is this all in my head?

is this right or wrong, is this the joke of the dead,

‘cause I’m driving myself insane,

am I doing all this in vain,

‘cause your attention spreads like fire

I’m losing myself in the desire

 
Nov 02

VAIN? or DESIRE

Am I going crazy, is this all in my head?

is this right or wrong, is this the joke of the dead,

‘cause I’m driving myself insane,

am I doing all this in vain,

‘cause your attention spreads like fire

I’m losing myself in the desire

 
Oct 25

aFrAiD

I want to let go of myself,

we’re afraid of it,

I’m afraid…

She is of being forgotten,

He is of missing out,

We are of leaving them behind,

I am that I might have found lost my chance,

He is of disappointing,

They are of being underachieved,

She is of the outcome,

We are of being misunderstood,

I am of what awaits me,

He is of what He’ll become,

We of the darkness that will consume us,

I’m afraid… We’re afraid. Just afraid.

 
Oct 25

aFrAiD

I want to let go of myself,

we’re afraid of it,

I’m afraid…

She is of being forgotten,

He is of missing out,

We are of leaving them behind,

I am that I might have found lost my chance,

He is of disappointing,

They are of being underachieved,

She is of the outcome,

We are of being misunderstood,

I am of what awaits me,

He is of what He’ll become,

We of the darkness that will consume us,

I’m afraid… We’re afraid. Just afraid.

 
Oct 25

Guilt

Guilt fills me up and spits me out

I can no longer breathe

The anger is rushing up in me

I’ve lost control

I lost control..

Guilt fills me up and spits me out

I look into your disappointed eyes

That eat me up

Guilt fills me up and spits me out

I’m so embarrassed I can’t apologize

I’m sorry I’ve lost control

So sorry I lost control

 
Oct 20

Constant Lies


I whisper constant lies,

I look away when I catch your eyes,

I say that, ‘I don’t want you,’

I say that, ‘I don’t need you,’

and everytime it stings me more than it stings you,

The truth you need you’ll find in someone new.
Oct 20

It Hurts

My mind paints perfect scenarios of us together,

and I know that you’re my antidote of my fears forever,

For my fears forever

but I resist myself

I resist you

and it hurts, it hurts, and it’s true

you don’t even know this battle I go through

Yet you’re there

And we care

Yes we care for one another

we’re strangers to one another

my mind can’t make sense of it

It doesn’t make sense

I know you can’t carry the weight of my heart

The weight of my thoughts

I want what I can’t have

and it hurts me

the cravings hurts me

and It’s the truth
 
Oct 12

OvErwHeLMED

U have more emotions in a minute then I do in moments,

U change so much I’m always left following,

U understand so much it scares me,

U hide so much I question how much I know U,

U are so full of energy that u carry both of our energy,

U are too much it overwhelms me.


 

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