The Love and Loss of Romeo and Juliet

Sort of a song I made up...I just wanted some feedback...

NOTE: Many of the lines in the song are based off of verses from the actual script.

he swore upon the moon
who shines so bright
he compared her to the sun
in all it's brightness
but even though they rise
they both must die sometime

do you see this blood that flows
from the flesh you broke with your hate
only being kind in saying this was all your fault
you get one shot, one life, and you blew it

CHORUS: steal me
la da da da da da da da da
she sings
la da da da da da da da da
we missed each other
by a vile
but i will follow you
into the dark

was it not fate
that we both met here?
a pair of star-crossed lovers are we
living in a brawling love, loving hate kind of world
and as you all ran around in circles
we were born to live, born to love, born to die

when he dies
cut him out in little stars
for all to see and fall in love
with the face of the heavens
they shall cry for the moon
and come to hate the garish sun