Leak

I didn't let
one
tear
leak.
Instead I just
closed the
door and
stabbed myself with
music,
letting the
pressure inside of
me
bubble and
fizz,
curdling with the
melodies until I
was sure that
I wouldn't
break.
At least I didn't
cry.
Kept it together.
Proved that
I really am
growing
up.
(Not willing and
too stupid
to accept that
sometimes,
tears can
actually
help.)
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Yes. They can.
Yes. They can.
The problem is
they always
arrive right when
you most need to keep them in.
Or they never arrive at
Or they never arrive
at all
especially
when you want them to.