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The City

Surgeo Church's picture
Submitted by Surgeo Church on March 14, 2008 - 14:00.

I, myself, have been to the crystal city on the water.
I have stood on the glass balcony which reflected back below.
I have traveled endless miles into the sky which this place sits,
Where the shows are the thunderclouds far down where we row,
Above the clouds where storms cease to exist.

Wonderful images...

Submitted by ggevalt on March 17, 2008 - 14:21.

I like the images of this and I like the way you repeat the first part of each sentence.

I'd encourage you to do several things.... I would take out "myself" in the first line.... AND, I would keep on writing. See where it takes you.

And with that idea, I can say, "Great start, S.C."

cheers
gg

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