A Wicked Epic Poem

Hey, I’ve got this poem,
Due tomorrow for
English class,
I need some help.
I can’t quite get it right.

Um… you do know you’re
Talking to someone who
Hasn’t read a book
Cover to cover
Since fourth grade?

I don’t want you
To write it for me.
I just need to bounce
Some ideas off you.
Now, hold on to something.
This is going to be wicked.

What? The poem?

No, my new tap dance.
Yeah, the poem,
What else?

Poems aren’t wicked.
Wicked is that feeling in the pit
Of you stomach
When you’ve reached the very
Tippy-top of a rollercoaster.
The feeling that says
Getting on this ride
Wasn’t the greatest idea
You’ve ever had.
Why did you want to ride
A rollercoaster anyway?
But once the car tips over the precipice,
The awesomeness is enough
To erase all murmurs of doubt in your skull.
That mind switch,
From regretting a decision,
To embracing it with an overwhelming
Majority of the voices in your head,
Is the very definition of wicked.

You don’t know what you’re talking about.
A poem can be totally wicked.
It just has to be the right poem.

So what’s your poem about?
Nature? Love?
The good of mankind triumphing over evil?

Don’t be so stereotypical.
What if the poem is filled with action?
What if it’s an epic battle poem?
That would be pretty wicked.

No, it wouldn’t.
You obviously don’t know
What you’re talking about.
If your poem was truly ‘epic’
Then it wouldn’t be a poem
It would be an epic novel,
Or at least a short story.
Star Wars is not a poem,
Not even close.

Judge too quickly, you do.
Much to learn, you still have.

This is an adult conversation here
About the un-wickedness of poems
And all you can do is crack jokes.
Well, it’s not my job
To help you get your workshop
Piece done.

You know what,
You’re not going to be very much
Help at all if you can’t listen
With an open mind.
Why don’t you just go back
To making paper footballs,
Or whatever it is you do.
I, however, will stay here,
And show you how wickedly epic
Poems can be.
My piece will be an epic battle poem
About the common man,
Who, while trying to win the heart
Of his one true love,
Has to take on the responsibility of leading an Army of civilians
Against an oppressive government
After a virus knocked out all the
Computers in the world and society,
As we know it, is falling into chaos.
It will be epic
And you will fall down because you did not Heed to the warning:
Hold on to something, this is going to be Wicked.