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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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One knee

S.Finley's picture
Submitted by S.Finley on March 27, 2008 - 09:20.

Under a red sky,
He gets on one knee to ask,
Tears, and loving hugs.

S.Finley's picture

Cool

Submitted by S.Finley on March 27, 2008 - 09:20.

Sweet

slunden's picture

UVM Mentor Comment

Submitted by slunden on March 30, 2008 - 17:09.

Hi Sam,

I like your poem...though I'm not really sure why, since I'm not really sure what it's about. There is something very appealing about your haiku, and haikus in general: they are simple and mysterious, perfect for conveying one scene that is laden with meaning. That's the vibe that I'm getting from "One Knee" - from the title and second line, I'm assuming that you are describing a marriage proposal. This assumption is complicated, however, by the red sky - which I associate with doom - and the tears. If you're going the marriage proposal route, I might change "red" to "pink": the tears would then seem more joyful.

It's definitely fun working with so few words and lines, for then everything impacts everything else so much more. If you're going for an image / idea besides marriage in this poem, I'd recommend changing things up a bit; if not, you've created a beautiful scene.

Suzanne

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