Artists Never Lie

UVM Mentor

Hey Katy, my name is Billy and I'm a sophomore at UVM. I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed reading your poem, I think it has some very strong messages in it. Your opening is extremely effective, as your enjambment on the third line where you isolate "splatter" greatly intensifies not only that initial action but also draws out the contrast with the "empty, white walls" of the next line. The story of the young boy is very interesting and, I think, the strongest section of your entire poem; the lines "shoving pennies into the wall / for every futile wish he made" truly strikes me deeply. I would say, though, that you could tighten the continuity of the piece, for you have such strong isolated images and moments like the two I've mentioned, but their connections could be stronger. Perhaps if you broke up the poem into stanzas, conveying the separation between the sections; you've already started to do this by having them be separate sentences, but possibly breaking them into stanzas would draw out the progression further.

I also think you have more to say on this poem, it feels like there is more in your "years of listening" that you could expand upon. The image of the boy is so good, I feel that if you could craft another one or two of these suppressed stories your poem would gain more depth and the closing line about your gallery could refer to your displaying of more than just one work of art. When you hint to the reader that you have "overpowering thoughts", you should drive home with examples some of these thoughts and stories, conveying through multiple examples how "Artists Never Lie". As it is now though, Katy, it is still quite a striking poem that leaves the reader with ideas to consider. Make sure to keep writing, Katy, I'd love to read more.