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Diary of a Paranoid

greenlemon's picture
Submitted by greenlemon on April 11, 2008 - 19:12.

I shine the flashlight a little further ahead of me. Up, down, I spin around, making sure every tree gets a chance to be in the spotlight. Everything seems clear, though one can never be sure. I hear every squish of my feet on the damp ground; all the mushy pine needles damp from the afternoon's storms. Right now, I wish I was one of those pine needles. When you think of them, you realize that they have nothing to be afraid of. They are prettly much there forever. Especially in a place where there are few living things, like where I am now. But I continue along the path, keeping the beam right in front of my feet. I don't want to see or hear anything other than my own footsteps, as I shuffle though the woods to the only bathroom in this middle-of-nowhere campground.
My therapist thought that this would help me deal with my paranoia.

bluedisch.'s picture

hahaha very descriptive,

Submitted by bluedisch. on April 11, 2008 - 19:17.

hahaha very descriptive, well done. i love it! it reminds me of me, camping, on the way to the bathroom.
even in a region where there are definitely no monsters.

greenlemon's picture

definitely, I looked outside

Submitted by greenlemon on April 11, 2008 - 19:30.

definitely, I looked outside a moment ago and it reminded me of just that, and now I've got a story going!

bluedisch.'s picture

haha sweet, it's a good

Submitted by bluedisch. on April 11, 2008 - 19:31.

haha sweet, it's a good topic. and it caught me off guard a little because, well, it's April, and I'm not thinking about camping :]
so it's a good attention grabber.

offreadin's picture

ech!!! subject lines!!!

Submitted by offreadin on April 11, 2008 - 20:14.

I like how you don't explain what's going on until the end. I think it really draws the reader in. So.... YAY! Definately creepy. But, you could also add in some stuff to maximize the CREEP Factor. Like Jaws. Y'know with out the music, it's just someone swimming. There are plenty of creepy things in the night. Have fun!
(I'm trying to work my constructive criticism, rather always saying "ditto to what he said", or "yeah, it's good". So here comes offreadin' the editor!)

bluedisch.'s picture

I'm not sure if the creep

Submitted by bluedisch. on April 11, 2008 - 20:17.

I'm not sure if the creep SHOULD be exposed, though...the way you've written it is perfectly innocent until you admit your paranoia.
but it could be just me...i get scared, and i have to close my eyes and not read when it is scary =P

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