My Daily Walk to Carson Hall…
My Daily Walk to Carson Hall
By William Murawski
Chelsea Public School, Grade 12
What do people think when they pass one another on the street?
Some nod – a simple gesture of politeness, but do they really mean it?
Once in a rare while a friendly hello escapes one’s mouth…
More often, sadly, people appear too self-absorbed to acknowledge the existence of others.
Others yet are intimidating; to smile or to nod would be taken as an offensive remark.
Much can be learned about a stranger’s character in this manner.
Do they walk upright, eyes on the horizon, eager to meet their destination?
Or do they watch their feet as they scrape the ground with each monotonous step, as though they have neither ambition nor excitement in their life?
Some read the newspaper as they walk – a subtle signal that they have no interest in the world around them…
Some walk briskly as time is of the essence.
Others amble, taking the time to soak in the sun’s rays.
The people walking come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.
Their one common thread is that they all have somewhere to go.
UVM Mentor Comment
Hi William,
I really liked this piece. It made me think of a class I took this past fall that was about teen movies and film theory. One thing that we talked about a lot was the idea of saying, "Hello, how are you?" to someone. The theory part of it said that it's a very American thing that we do; we don't actually care how the person is, and often times we don't even wait around long enough to hear a genuine response. The reason we ask is because we want the person to know we care enough to at least engage in some kind of social interaction with them, whether or not we actually care how they're doing. I thought you might find that interesting.
I especially like the idea of what people think about each other when they pass on the street. I find myself thinking different things depending on what city I'm in; if I'm at home, or at college, or on vacation. It's a really interesting idea, and one that you could probably write a whole other piece about. It would be interesting to create a bunch of different characters, or to pull them from real life, and to then create their inner monologues when they pass one another on the street.
One thing I would suggest to you is to either expand on this piece or to shorten it; as is, it reads more like a short essay than a poem. If you were to expand on it, you could turn it into an essay or a short story. If you wanted it to be more poetic, I would suggest shortening each line by either breaking them up into multiple lines or taking the main idea and condensing it. I think that way it will flow more like a poem.
I really enjoyed this piece; I'll think of it the next time I'm walking on campus and have a conversation with myself about someone I pass!
Best,
Tressie