She Stands There

Hi Shannon,

I like how your poem is simple, yet clearly holds complex meaning behind what you say. You use a metaphor the whole way through that allows the reader to create a clear image of the kind of person you are talking about. I also really enjoy the title of your poem because not only is it a line within, but it sort of encompasses what you say throughout-- "she stands there" is sort of imposing, and so is your poem.

Something that you might work on would be rather than listing out these characteristics that depict someone who seems to be quite demanding and ruthless, thinking about why this person seems to be acting this way. Perhaps you could think of what might be igniting these personality traits, and write about that. Another thing you could do might be to imagine yourself in their shoes, trying to look at the world through their eyes and think about how this poem would be written from their perspective. When you have emotions about something or someone, it is helpful and often more fun for you to explore them in a very creative way that might not be so directive. Emotions are what create the best poetry, but it can be helpful to channel them through a creative perspective so that your readers can form a picture in their mind and trigger emotion within themselves with what you write.

Thanks for submitting, and keep writing!

Kate Maciejowski
UVM Mentor

Oh, wow, thank you so much for the feedback! I understand what you mean about going at it from their POV, and I'll definitely try to work that into the poem. I wasn't actually sure about the title, because at first I did think it held enough against the poem, but after reading what you said I guess that it does fit better than I thought. But I'll keep working at it, for sure. Thanks again!

I loved this poem since you started writing it. I love the repeated line, and the way it flows so well. I think you did a great job!! ♥Rachael

Hehe, thank you very much, deary. I'm really glad you like it. :) ♥