That Bitter-Sweet Feeling
That Bittersweet Feeling
By Allyson Paquette
Rochester High School, Grade 10
Standing
Shoulder to shoulder
Trying to keep our heads up high.
People
We don’t know half of
Come out to bid us goodbye.
Music
Begins to play
I count the beats in my head.
Walking
The endless aisle
Keeping an eye on my target.
Sun
Beats down on us
I wish there was a breeze.
Sitting
White chairs in rows
I try to pick someone out of the crowd.
Smiling
As I receive my diploma
Then head back to my place.
Walking
Again, yet not the same
A new direction of life upon us.
Hugs
From friends, family, strangers alike
A pile of cards in my hand.
Tears
Pour down my cheeks
Will I see you all again?
Friends
Since we were born
We can’t bear the thought of leaving.
Shouts
Of mixed feelings, as we the class of 2010, graduate from Rochester High School on that hot, humid day in June.
UVM Mentor Hey Allyson, my
UVM Mentor
Hey Allyson, my name is Billy and I am a sophomore at UVM. I really liked your poem, it reminded me a lot of the feelings I had when I graduated, its a really strange yet rewarding event. I find it quite fascinating that you chose to write on your vision of how your own graduation would be two years from now, it'd be fun when you actually got to graduation to look back at this poem and see how your emotions have changed or stayed the same.
I like the style in which you have crafted this piece, I think the enjambment of each line, separating the open idea of each stanza into its own line is very effective. I think you add some more of these stanzas into this poem though, really walk the reader both through the full physical act of graduating and your projected mental state during these actions. Perhaps get into your mindset leading up to graduation, give the reader more insight into why this passage is so bittersweet. You start to explore this in your final stanzas, but I think you could explore your mindset further. What were, or in this context what do you think you will, you thinking in the days leading up to your graduation? What plans for the future are you looking forward to? I know that is a tall task because you haven't yet actually experienced graduating, but I feel as if you already know the emotions you think you will have, so you should just make sure you are expressing them as fully as you can. Still though, your poem definitely does connect with the reader, in particular at this time of year looking back on my own graduation. Keep writing!