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The Beginning

ParisianTwist's picture

I.
September was vaguely the colour of summer, and his hair was always shining in the sun, and things were easy and different. It almost seemed perfect. It could be one of those things that old women tell their grand-children it was so perfect, and I was not one to deny myself that. We walked in parks and laughed at the streams who watched us. We knew they would keep our secrets and couldn't see any reason not to skinny dip into their cold pools of water. They were really very refreshing, those streams. for a while, we picked up rocks to take home and remember each day, but that was pointless, and we both knew it, so we put them back and waited for them to turn into sand. It was blonde sand like his hair. It was just as dirty too.

II.
I once told him that the sky reminded my of time, because it was grey and went on forever and no one could ever change that. I guess it struck him as funny because he told me the sky could fit into my eyes and I had to disagree. Time could never be trapped like a fly stuck to a fly-paper strip hung form the ceiling of a horse barn. it wasn't that ignorant. It knew it had to keep going. If I could talk to time I would ask him to tell me what's happening. I'm sure he'd have an interesting story to tell. Maybe about Rommel. Maybe about the prime minister. I've heard things about that man, but only time will tell. But time is generally quiet. He's really very good at slipping by without being noticed.

III.
The restaurant looked at us like we didn't really belong there, not with the educated lawyers and the other people filling its upholstered booths. We knew what it was thinking and sat down anyway. We had money. We were hungry. We always ordered waffles and a milkshake wherever we went. it was like a tradition. The waitress watched us build statues out of the napkin dispensers and stayed out of our way. We really did want those waffles and that milkshake, but the waitress just wouldn't come close enough for us to get them. We were sorely disappointed. It was just another day, but the restaurant didn't like us and it knew the waitress wouldn't make it mad. We left without the waffles. We had a salt shaker instead.

IV.
He liked to tell me that I was bad at acting, but I was better than he thought when he asked me what I thought about things. He really was always asking questions about himself, and I didn't know the answer, and he didn't know the answer, so I made one up. I really was very good at that. Pretty soon I was able to pull the question off his lips and answer it before he even knew what he was asking. That's how good I got at acting. It's really too bad he couldn't see it for himself, you know. He was almost blind in one eye, but I always thought that was no excuse. He knew I couldn't act like someone prettier so I know he saw what I did too.

So....

Where does this go in relation to the other one? Or am I dumber than a rock and this is, in fact, the beginning to the other story?

If it is the beginning that I know a cool way to link the two and can show you....

I let my previous comments stand. Love the voice. The images. In this one, I love that the restaurant has human character. Way cool. I love the image of the sky filling your eyes...of talking to time to figure out what's going on.

love it.

gg

ParisianTwist's picture

Thanks so much for your

Thanks so much for your previous comment: I didn't edit it on the site, but I see the changes that should have been made, and I did make them on my personal copy. I think this is the beginning to the other story.. I think I'm sort of skipping around as I remember things. In this format, its easy enough to link them together eventually in a chronological order.

whats your idea for linking them?
I'd love to expand this into something huge, I feel like its both simple and difficult to work in this voice rather than poetry... I've been able to give the story itself the character, rather than the narrator and the other people in it...
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"Oops. The database has an upset tummy.Our host has been having some issues -- Hang tight and try again in 5 or 10 minutes. Sorry 'bout that."–onesentence.org when server doesn't respond

ParisianTwist's picture

GG

if you want to share your ideas, that would be great, I am going to try to get it published... first in school, then in other things...
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"Oops. The database has an upset tummy.Our host has been having some issues -- Hang tight and try again in 5 or 10 minutes. Sorry 'bout that."–onesentence.org when server doesn't respond

I am going to try to explain....

...when I can figure out how to explain it.
I'll be back.
gg

OK, P.T......

So I've linked these stories up. I can see an interesting thread going here. And I'd be interested to see how you've edited and rearranged things...
gg

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