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Bus

Usagi's picture
Submitted by Usagi on May 8, 2008 - 19:56.

Holly used to be the girl who read on the bus
with wind-borne conversations raging
around her stiff-still body and
whipping her hair around her face. Now
she stares straight at the bus driver's
bald spot in the mirror and lets the
wind play with the wires linking her
ears and her ipod that's never turned on.
And she listens, hears and studies the
exchanges tossed from seat to seat
like an anthropologist watching the
habits of primates or an alien trying to
figure out how to possibly fit in.

qwertygirl890123's picture

I like it

Submitted by qwertygirl890123 on May 8, 2008 - 20:41.

And I am going to tell you why (in list form)
1.) Its not overly descriptive (I hate that)
2.) Its pretty short
3.) you use different wording (by different, I mean good different)

great

Submitted by smallbus on May 8, 2008 - 22:15.

yah its really good because its so simple but also because you noticed something that most people don't. I mean who pays attention to the quiet girl on the bus and goes deeper then that. Kudos.

SnowStars's picture

*applause*

Submitted by SnowStars on May 10, 2008 - 09:43.

I always love your descriptions of situations most people wouldn't even think of! Bus rides can be like an immersion in a foreign culture. Soemtimes a hostile foreign culture!

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