Untitled Chapter One
AN: This is just a story I started one day, and I'm not really sure if I should continue it or not. Feedback is very much appreciated!
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The wind blew throughout the forest, grasping anything that it could with its ice cold fingers. The crescent moon high in the night sky cast an eerie light over the ground and caused long, dark shadows to stretch across the forest floor.
A girl in her late teens was crouched up in the branches of the a large oak tree, waiting for something. Her eyes were trained on the gap between two huge stones that looked as if the gods had placed them there as a gateway to the forest. A stick cracked soundly behind her, causing her to jump and snap her head around towards the origin of the noise. The darkness was all around her and felt as if it was pressing in on her eyes. She couldn't see a thing, adn eventually she turned back around adn looked towards the gateway once again.
A chill suddenly wracked her body, making her shiver in apprehesion. The icy fingers of the wind pulled at her clothes and ran down her spine. She quickly shook off the nervous feeling and continued watching, never blinking.
He was coming.
Out of nowhere, a black shadow seemed to emerge from the rest of the darkness. The putrid smell of blood and death rose up to meet her nostrils, adn she immediately covered her nose, trying not to gag. The shadow glided on. The cloak the shadow was garbed in fluttered behind him. The girl rolled her eyes. He always was one for the dramatics. A glistening, silver sword could be seen beneath the cloak, and a dark smear covered a part of it. Judging by the way the moonlight glimmered off of it, the girl was almost positive that is was the crimson life that had just been taken from the man's latest victim. She curled her lip in digust at the realization.
The figure stopped moving and seemed to be looking for something. Its head looked from side to side, trying to sniff out the thing it was looking for. The girl pressed herself into the side of the tree and attempted to become one with it. She slowly reached behind her to grab the hilt of the sword attached to her back. He couldn't find her, not yet.
But her prays were not answered. The figure, with lightning speed, turned to face her adn stretched out his hand towards her. An immense force seemed to come out of his hand, and the girl screamed out as she was thrown from the tree. She landed painfully on her back and immediately tried to scramble to her feet, but the cloaked man was faster. He placed one boot covered foot on her chest and pushed down. The teen gasped out in pain and began to struggle against him until the blood soaked sword was placed against her neck. She raised her eyes up to look at the man and glared with pure hatred at him.
Glowing red eyes looked back at her from beneath the hood of the cloak. He then removed his foot from her chest but kept his sword were it was and crouched down until he was only inches from her face. Sharp, ivory fangs were revealed when the man's face split into a maniacal grin.
"You know better than to try and stop me, Ari. So why even try?" The man's voice was calm, calmer than it should have been. But that calmness was betrayed by the anger blaring in his red eyes. "I suggest you don't try again because the next time, I will not be so merciful."
The girl growled deep in her throat and responded by spitting in the man's face. He wiped it away with the thumb on his free hand and then reached down and grasped the back of the girl's head and twisted her hair cruelly.
He leaned forward so that his lips were right next to her ear and whispered almost lovingly, "I'll be seeing you very soon. You can be sure of that." And with that, he was gone before she could even blink.
The girl slowly moved her hand to her throat to see what damage had been done. She was lucky. There was just a little cut across her neck with a small trickly of blood coming out. Shakily, she sat up and attempted to catch her breath. Her mouth soon twisted into a snarl, and she sprang up to her feet. With a roar of frustration, she unsheathed the sword on her back and cut down the nearest tree with one swipe of her blade. As the tree crashed down to the earth and the panic stricken animals of the forest ran from the area of destruction, she composed herself with a few deep breaths and sheathed her sword once again. She then turned and walked out of the forest, turning her back on the place where she had failed in bringing down her enemy once again.
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AN: So what do you think? I've got an idea of where I would like to go with this, but I'm not exactly sure. Any ideas? Title ideas would be great as well as I seem to alwasy has extreme writer's block when it comes to them.
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Keep going...
OK, so here's my advice....Keep writing. BUT before you do, "noodle" (a technical writing term, to wit: "think") on what you are going to do with it. You need to be sure, not necessarily "exactly sure" but you need to know where your story is generally going.
I was asked by someone last night about this very same thing: The question was, do I need to determine the "plot" first or the characters? I said "plot" but, more speciically, "the turn." I like to think out the climax, or the moment when the opposing characters finally have it out or when the collision between characters or forces occurs or when there is a moral choice made by a central character.... In your case, it is going to be when Ari and the demon finally battle; who is going to win? why? and how are you going to get them to that point? (Also, you have an enormous back story here, ie, how did the two characters even get to this point?)
When I have some sense of the central "point" of the story, then it is easier for me to figure out the general story line, or the path of the story. This will allow me to take tangents -- and to edit out unnecessary trackis -- and it allows me to then go to develop the characters. ...
So I would then "noodle" on the characters and related characters. Who are they? What are their back stories? What has helped shape them? What are the choices ahead for them? etc....
Also, you need to be considering your time and setting. Where is the story? When is the story?
This looks like a great summer project; I'm sure that others will happily provide you support...
geoff gevalt
ywp director
I like it!
I really like how much detail you put into it, I could really picture everything that was going on! I kinda made me think of the scene in Harry Potter (sorry, I've got a bit of an obsession) where they talk about Snape being on the hill, and Dumbledore coming.....sorry. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's got that dark trees, wind, waiting for someone you're both scared of and mocking feeling, as well as that person arriving suddenly.....but I really like how yours goes deeper and brings the details about his teeth, the sword, etc. Definitely keep going, I want to know how it turns out!
~LE