Raven Haired Girl
Chorus:
The Raven haired girl
who lives down the street.
Don't know where she's goin'
Or who she'll meet.
But the raven haired girl,
with the stars in her eyes...
(any sugestions for the rest of the stanza?
I don't know what to put.)
Verse 1
(still creating :)
Bridge
She sees all
In the corner of her eyes,
The thriving of a nation,
or someone's quick demise.
So don't second guess her.
cause the whole
truth lies,
in her eyes.
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The Beatles
I like it, it makes me think of the Beatles song "Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds" (have you heard it?). Minor suggestion "in those eyes." to "in her eyes", and "or a someone's quick demise." to "or someone's quick demise."
thx
I am always open to new things to add!
Ain't lookin' for
Ain't lookin' for trouble,
ain't lookin for lies...
possibility?
I feel like it needs more than just a rhymy scheme... and perhaps six lines to a chorus? do what you feel is right, I think you've got something great started.
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"As a child I used to think that 'Anon' was a Greek philosopher, when told otherwise, I lost my first real hero."
And:
Also, what's the effect/message you're looking to put out there with this song you've started? Usually knowing the impact you want is incredibly useful in finding direction for what to write next.
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"As a child I used to think that 'Anon' was a Greek philosopher, when told otherwise, I lost my first real hero."
I dunno...
last night I was bored and started writing a song, I didn't really think of a message, per se, but just formed the words.. This was a kinda weird song that i wrote... I usually write things with a obvious message, freeverse, but lastnight i got started and cant stop..I love the ain't lookin for trouble bit,.. and I am going to add that to my song!
Thanks a lot!
Schila!