Beach Babe Lipstick Smudged on His Cheek
I freeze.
The endless party swirls around me.
He comes out of the room,
gentily shutting the door behind him.
He doesn't walk out alone,
but with
her.
The hands forever laced together,
as if nothing could ever separate them.
He shirt all frumpy,
beach babe lipstick smuged on his cheecks,
pants unbuttoned,
what a slob.
it doesn't take a guiness to figure out their chemistery.
Music blares in my ears,
it burns my heart.
a grapefruit size lump forms in my throat,
making it
impossible
to breath.
The walls close in,
i drop my beer can
making is pour all over my bare,cold feet.
I walk closer to him,
but he gets farther away,
"no."
i try to scream
but comes out as a whisper,
"no."
- rbbrdck_137's blog
- Login or register to post comments
Emnoodlehead???
Rbbrdck_137
please answer me by comment. :(
RBBR: I think you've got
RBBR:
I think you've got something great here... continue working on it:
however: They invented spell check for a reason. I think it would be GREAT it you decided to use it instead of disclaiming the spelling at the beginning. also: can you talk to Em some other way? I'd love for her to answer whatever you asked, but do you have email? is that a better place for this conversation to take place? Keep up the good work
Lili
__________________________________________________________
"Imperfection is beauty. Madness is Genius. And it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marylin Monroe
P-T good point...
...on the spelling.
Here's why spelling is important... It helps us see/hear the sounds of words. AND, it helps us build confidence in ourselves as writers. AND it helps us choose the correct word. I know that I sometimes (particularly if I'm tired and don't have a dictionary handy) will actually CHANGE my word choice because I do not know the spelling of the word I chose first. Jeesh, what a bad habit. The flip side is that if you write something, you want to be proud of it and proud that it is well-presented. If we know the spelling is off, then we are not as confident about it.
And writing is all about developing confidence and voice.
Now to follow up on P-T a bit, YWP purposely does NOT have a spell checker embedded into the site. I do not think spell checkers are good. HOWEVER, there is a way to set up your browser so that it IDENTIFIES misspelled words with a little red underline. (Firefox, for instance, embeds the feature into its browzer so that "browzer" on my screen has a little red line under it as I type. You can easily find and upload a similar program for Internet Explorer. I don't know about Safari.) I heartily encourage you to use the technology to help you identify your misspelled word and then use one of those crazy, heavy, bulky, wonderful hard-bound dictionaries to do the rest.
cheers
gg
hey geist! wat up? will u
hey geist! wat up?
will u read this???
Rbbrdck_137
Done and done. As said
Done and done.
As said before, spellcheck is your friend.
However, the poem itself is excellent in idea and execution.
I can see you going deeper into this and making material equally as powerful.
Do you really like it? Read
Do you really like it?
Read my first blog... don't remember the title!
Rbbrdck_137
I couldn't live without
I couldn't live without him...
is wat it's called
Rbbrdck_137
Read and commented upon.
Read and commented upon.
???...geist
huh?
Rbbrdck_137