Holding Back
This is my first stab at song-writing since I was about fourteen. I'm only trying again because Imagine suggested I try at YVWC. Here are just the lyrics... Don't wait on a podcast. It's unlikely to come.
I saw your face there on
the corner.
It was in place of
my mouth on yours.
The paper bottles and
letter jackets
told me you'd been driving
back and forth.
I cannot
hold you back.
You cannot
hold me back.
Since when
did you cry?
I went and whispered
your name to millions.
I cannot tell you
what was said.
I broke you open and
climbed inside your hand.
You told me nothing would
ever change your mind.
I cannot
hold you back.
You cannot
hold me back.
Since when
did you cry?
I cannot take you
for granted.
You spoke too plainly
when you called
my
name.
It was so long ago
now I don't even know
what is left here for
you to take.
I cannot
hold you back.
You cannot
hold me back.
Since when
did you cry?
I saw your face there.
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I really like the lyrics and
I really like the lyrics and hope that you'll play it for me in person. If you taught the vocals to me (and didn't hate my rendition), we could podcast it together...
Thanks. Perhaps at some
Thanks.
Perhaps at some point, yes. Sounds good. I'll have to work on the guitar part, too, because being the idiot that I am, I made it finger-picking and the same pattern of finger-picking for the whole thing. So I get tired of it after a while and start to mess it up really really badly.
Okay, sounds good :) I want
Okay, sounds good :)
I want to try my hand at guitar but my capo appears to be missing... Hmmm...
Cool. Aw man, that sucks!
Cool.
Aw man, that sucks! Capos are so necessary...
Okay, so, I just decided this: If we podcast this, we have to podcast some of your songs. Yeah?
My songs are crap, with the
My songs are crap, with the exception of Constant Affirmation and Elizabeth's Song... I could cast C.A., but I don't have accompaniment (or the chords) for E.S.
You should put Constant
You should put Constant Affirmation up because it's really cool and good. And I thought you DID have the chords for E.S. and that when you'd sung it for me the first time I'd told you I could figure it out and then we could record it together... Some time in July, this was, I believe...
I have to find the file for
I have to find the file for C.A., and I think I lost the chords for E.S...
Do that. I can probably
Do that.
I can probably figure them out...
I remember there was definitely G and D and probably A and E in it... It shouldn't be that hard, really.
You are a smart
You are a smart crackerjack.
We'll play with it all this summer, k?
Crackerjack? Sounds like a
Crackerjack?
Sounds like a plan.
I really like the echoing of
I really like the echoing of the line "I saw your face there". It brings it full-circle and completes it. Good job.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
First: this is awesome. I
First: this is awesome. I can't wait to hear the melody.
One suggestion- this stanza:
I went and whispered
your name to millions.
I cannot tell you
what was said.
I broke you open and
climbed inside your hand.
You told me nothing would
ever change your mind.
is beautiful, and I love what it's saying. But because it's a song, it helps if there's just a bit more of a rhyme. The others have a really cool, subtle rhyming pattern. You might want to rework this one a bit. Although, maybe it would work with the melody. Hard to tell.
Again, I love this.
Thanks. Yeah, when I was
Thanks.
Yeah, when I was writing that I kept thinking that I needed to figure out how to rhyme it even just a little, but it didn't really work out.
Well, I do have "whispered"/"said" and "and"/"hand", but they're not as obvious as the others are. Next time I play it I'll have to pay more attention to see if it works okay with the melody.
Again, thank you. :) And thanks for the suggestion. I'm glad you encouraged me to go for it.