Crash and Burn

Come on, Yami. You can do this!
I sat on my bed, staring at the phone in front of me almost as if I expected it grow legs and walk away.
It’s just a phone call. You’re just calling to get some info on a job. And if you don’t get this job, you can always work at the store.
I continued looking at the phone, my leg bouncing up and down due to my nervousness.
Maybe I’ll wait a little longer. . .
~You’re stalling.~
Oh zip it, Zack! Usually, the voices in my head offer great companionship and entertainment, but right not was not the case. (And yes, I’ve named them.)
~Stop worrying, will ya? You’ll do fine. You’re you, for Pete’s sake!~
Not helping. . .
~Just reach for the phone and dial the number. Then go from there.~
I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes, slowly reached my hand out, and grasped the portable phone. I stared at it for a few seconds and then dialed the first six numbers before I could change my mind. My thumb hovered over the final number.
~Press it already!~
Beep!
Placing the phone to my ear, I listened to it ring as the phone on the other end waited for someone to pick up. My stomach twisted and turned, almost making my lunch take a return trip.
Damn butterflies.
~Deep breaths. You’re doing fine. You’re rising up to grab the prize.~
I was about to tell Zack to shut it again when the ringing suddenly stopped.
“Hello?” a man’s voice answered.
“Uh, hello. I’m calling about the notice about a summer job that was posted at the store.”
~Good, you’re doing great. Rising up higher.~
“Oh yes. And how old are you?”
“Seventeen”
~Getting higher.~
Be quiet!
“Seventeen. And you’re a...girl...”
My heart stopped for a second. That wasn’t good...
“Uh...yeah...”
~Uh-oh, falling.~
Zack... I growled.
“Well you see, I was actually looking for a boy to do some outside work and such.”
~Crash!~
“But I’m sure I could find some secretarial type stuff for you...”
~And burn...~
SHUT UP, ZACK!
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Fie on you, drunken scallywag!
Ouch! Every fami-nazi gene in me is screaming varied insults. But good for you! Good Luck on your job search! and I would suggest getting a mental cheerleader to replace Zach. They're a lot more helpful, albeit less sarcastic and entertaining.
Eh...
Don't get me wrong. I love Zack. It's just that sometimes, he doesn't know when to be quiet....Then I have one of my other voices lock him up in a mental closet.
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ADD? I don't have- Oo a bird!
I love internal
I love internal dialogues!
This is nice. One idea, though:
"almost making my lunch make a return trip"
the repetition of "make" doesn't sound too good... but other than that, fantastic!
:)SnowStars
Perhaps "making my lunch
Perhaps
"making my lunch TAKE a return trip"
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"It's either broken or it's French."
Thanks!
Thanks for that. That line was giving me a pain. Fixing now...
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ADD? I don't have- Oo a bird!