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Rising Above

apples's picture

You say that humanity
Will only bring destruction
To the universe
But the thing is
You seem to be
Causing more damage
With the powers of God
Than the humans do
Perhaps it is time that
They rise above us
And walk along their own path
They will start anew
And they will do
As they will
And we will not
Interfere with them
Not this time
You may not agree
But it doesn't matter
Becuase it is what they want
Traveling with them
All this time
Has shown me that
You will stop interfering
And I will as well
After I help them
Begin anew
And allow them to
Live as humans should
Rather than attempting to
Rise above God
They will
Rise above us

NonSequitur's picture

This

Submitted by NonSequitur on July 22, 2008 - 15:20.

This is gorgeous, especially the last few lines, beginning with "And I will as well". Also, the first few lines are extremely powerful -they could be a poem on their own. The middle is somehow not as strong -if you used the words "interfere" and "interfering" less often, and contracted some of the phrases like "it is", etc., I think that might make it more concise.

Two spelling things: "You may not agree", and "interfering", not "interfereing". Otherwise, great! :)

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