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apples's picture
Submitted by apples on September 4, 2008 - 17:47.

I ran through the woods
Fleeing in terror
From what lie behind
I ran through the woods
Not sure what to do
Afraid of what lies ahead
I ran through the woods
Going in circles
Trying to make up my mind
With minimal success
I ran through the woods
Looking for an escape
But will I ever find one?
Will I ever find you?

CSC Mentor Feedback

Submitted by kmbrlyns on September 14, 2008 - 14:14.

Hi Robert,

You've done a really nice job in this poem with structure and repetition. Even though you've posted the poem without stanza breaks, I recognize a stanza structure based around the repetition of "I ran through the woods." Your first two stanzas are 3 lines each, while your last two stanzas are 4 lines each. The first two stanzas are really nice because of the mirror they create against each other - the first discussing fear of what lies behind and the second discussing fear of what lies ahead. This structure really allows me to recognize both sides of the story you are creating.

My only recommendation is to think about punctuation. I know that some poets don't like to use a lot of punctuation in their poetry, but I always find punctuation to be useful to a reader. A period tells the reader that a line can stand alone, while a comma tells the reader that two lines are connected.

Overall, though, I really enjoyed this piece!

Kim Lyons
Castleton State College

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