Locker 218
Locker 218. You hear people talk about it the moment you walk in the door as a freshman. No one wants to be assigned that locker. There’s a curse on it they say, and if you get assigned that locker, you will have horrible bad luck and failing grades for the rest of your life. This year, I was the lucky student assigned locker 218.
“Ari!” I cried to my best friend. “What do I do? I have locker 218!”
“I don’t know. Do you even believe the stories?” she replied.
“How do you explain the valedictorian dropping to the bottom 10 percent of the class in a single semester last year? He had this locker!”
“Right… I forgot about that. So what do you think you are going to do?” she asked methodically putting her books in her locker.
“I have no idea, but I have to break the curse.”
At the end of my day of falling up the stairs and losing every pencil that I touched, I decided to go open my locker. I’ve heard that it hasn’t been opened in years; I wanted to see what was inside and if it could help me break the curse.
At first I was scared to open it, and I should have been. Just as soon as I opened it, a terrifying moan escaped and the back metal was forming a hand that was reaching for me. I jumped back and screamed, but I couldn’t run. I was frozen.
The hand kept coming out until it got to my bag. It reached out, went in my bag and took out my purple pen. It pulled it back into the locker and the door slammed shut. By then I had enough courage to run.
I never wanted to return to that locker, but I needed my bag. I had left it in front of the locker earlier because I didn’t dare go near it. I went to school as the sun was setting. Slowly, I approached my locker being careful not to make a noise. I got closer and closer until I could just reach my bag when suddenly, the door flew open. I was about to run when I heard a girl’s voice.
“Don’t go,” it softly pleaded.
“Hello?” I said still keeping my distance. I looked around for the source of the voice. It was coming from the locker.
“Someone finally wants to be my friend,” it said.
“Um… Yeah.”
“Sorry I took your pen. I knew if I took something you would want it back. My name is Bobby by the way.”
“No problem. My name is Zoe by the way.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too. Um... may I ask you how I can remove this curse on me?”
“You have already removed it by being my friend. You can put your things in here if you want. That’s the point of a locker you know.”
“Thanks. I have to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow between classes, OK?”
Since that day, I have talked to Bobby every time I stop at my locker, and interestingly enough, people don’t crowd around my locker now like they used to. I still occasionally fall up the stairs, but I guess that’s just me.
Locker Response
The way you started this piece is very catching. Giving a description of the subject is always a good way to start off. When I was first reading it, I just thought that it would end like all the other kids and just have the locker be a curse to everyone. But the twist you put on it was great!
The dialogue really helps as well. It makes it more interesting because it adds character. Reading it I can picture myself there and having all of this stuff happen.
Overall I really think you did a great job on this! The descriptions were great and it kept me reading to the end because I wanted to know if it would end the same way for you as it did for the other students.
I look forward to reading more of your stories. Great Job!
~Castleton Student, Ashleigh McDonough
Thank-you so much! It was a
Thank-you so much! It was a fun piece to write. ^_^
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"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
You don't really talk to
You don't really talk to your locker, do you? lol :)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh, look! A pony!"
lol. not usually.
lol. not usually. ^_^
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"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
I love this story
I know a mentor has already commented, but I agree with Ashleigh and I had to read your story several times because I was so impressed. Now that I know you had fun writing it I'd like to offer a few suggestions. I really want to hear more! My interest is piqued. I think the story line is unique and interesting, and if you wanted you could add to it to make it a longer piece.
I am really excited about this piece of work, and would love to read more!
I want to know more about the rumors before the narrator even gets the locker, I want to hear more about how Bobby became attached to the locker. If you added a little more, and a little more, and a little more, I feel that you have the start of a really good book here! I notice that you use a lot of dialog, so.... maybe you could turn this into a short play!
Your choice of names is great too. Zoe is such a modern name, while Bobby (a girl) is an old fashion name which really backs up the idea that she has been there a long time. (It was my grandmothers name so extra kudos for that!!)
Wendy
Castleton State College
haha i really like this!
haha i really like this! it's been a while since i commented you. O.O I, like the others, would love to hear more. I feel like the end came really quickly, like you wrapped it up too fast. Can I have some more story, please?
:)
lol. I'll have to find some
lol. I'll have to find some time to add some more then. ^_^
*hiya by the way*
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Triple B T