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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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Pocketwatch

Dreamsprite's picture
Submitted by Dreamsprite on November 2, 2008 - 19:29.

For once,
I don't really care if you place me second,
or third, or four, or even last.
Do you not see me
(attempting not to notice)
when you're trying to wind back your
silver pocketwatch?
Feigning time and time again.

Sorry.

But it's still pulling forward
like the rusty train on
broken railroad tracks.

chug-a-chug-a-choo choo!
To the little train that could,
good job.
Except,
time, considering it takes the place
of the little blue train,
descends
instead of the usual ascending.

I'll let you
wind back
the pocketwatch,
but will you let me
wind it for you?

NonSequitur's picture

This is beautiful! I love

Submitted by NonSequitur on November 2, 2008 - 19:32.

This is beautiful! I love the imagery. The pocketwatch and the train tracks fit quite well together. ;)

______________________
ASAP (Affluent Students Aspiring for Perspicacity) Resident Witch and All-Purpose Novelist

This is SO beautiful!!!! And

Submitted by KenazBhyndIsa on November 10, 2008 - 21:22.

This is SO beautiful!!!! And So sweet now that I know it's background. I LOVE IT SO MUCH MORE NOW!!! Suggestion though, change "four" to "fourth" in the third line.

Dreamsprite's picture

thanks

Submitted by Dreamsprite on November 10, 2008 - 22:40.

thanks :]

__________________________________

"...All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you..."[Gandalf]
Don't know why I didn't come back.

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