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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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I

Submitted by JamesRyan on November 21, 2008 - 23:59.

I am the center of the spiral
I am the death directly following the revival
I am iron, I am sand
I am robot, I am man
I am everything
I am nothing
I am the in-between and the unseen
I am a, e, o, and u
But not I, for I can not be chronicled with these words of men
Choking Zen
Bottomless pendulum pit,
The very thought of it elicits a ten-stage epileptic fit
A reverse gravitational black hole
Conjunctively connecting your mind, body, spirit, and soul
I is the ambivalent contradiction
The collective consciousness of a nation
I is the ultimate infinity, I is the consummate singularity
I is the epitome of all that could ever be
I is I
And I is me.

CSC Mentor Feedback

Submitted by kmbrlyns on November 22, 2008 - 14:21.

Hi James,

I was really blown away by your poem. Through it, you create such interesting images and thoughts about what "I" really means to people. I found your repetitive structure in the first few lines to be useful and a great structural technique. It really drew attention to the list you were creating of what "I am." I also enjoyed the lines "A reverse gravitational black hole / Conjunctively connecting your mind, body, spirit, and soul." That really captured my attention and created a strong image and feeling. Your poem makes me think, and I like that!
While I think it is great as it stands, I was curious about one of the lines towards the end. You chose to have two phrases in line 17. It says, "I is the ultimate infinity, I is the consummate singularity." I almost feel like those could be two separate lines. Your rhyme scheme wouldn't be impacted greatly because you are drawing to the conclusion of the poem anyways, and it could make the phrases more powerful by giving them each their separate space.
Overall, though, I found your poem to be excellent!

Kim Lyons
Castleton State College

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