Sweep Me Away
By Chauncey Jones
Leland and Gray Union High School, Grade 9
Sweep me away
off my feet
tell me some secrets
that I can keep.
Twirl me ’round
let’s dance through the night
as long as you’re here
everything is alright.
My world is safe
when I’m in your arms
but I’m jolted awake
by my alarm.
Another fantasy
another day
show up soon
and sweep me away.


In Dreams Awake
I love the musical nature of this poem and the clean, short lines. Your message is simple and charming, and it works very well with this type of poem. Nice job! As far as suggestions go, I would concentrate even more on your rhythm, or meter. You are quite close here, but there are a few lines that are short a few syllables, or slightly too long. It's not a big deal, since the poem flows nicely as it is, but if you sound out each line you will see what I mean.