Reflection
Who stares back,
At me in the glass,
And mimics,
My every move?
Am I real,
Or is she,
Who sits and stares,
Like I?
She knows exactly,
What I'm going to do,
And follows me,
To every room.
She is present,
In every shadow,
Mocking my lanky limbs,
And height.
Is she my reflection,
Or am I her's,
We who look alike,
Who cam before the other?
Who knows exactly,
What the other will do,
Long before,
The reflection?
And what IS a reflection,
To have that kind of power,
To stare into your eyes,
As you stare at theirs?
You can't kill you reflection,
Or smash them into bits,
For you'll be left with nothing but,
Seven years bad luck.
UVM Mentor Mango, I just had
UVM Mentor
Mango, I just had the pleasure of reading your poem "Running in Rain" and I stumbled on this. It's nice to see that you stuck with a similar form (4 line stanzas, often short) but managed to produce two very different poems. Compared to "Rain" this is much more of a blatant introspection. To further this poem, I think you need to dig deeper into the metaphorical self-reflection. As the poem advance you stick with the physical reflection, "mocking my lanky limbs" and "we who look alike". The end smashing of the class will take on a much more ironic meaning, if the poem develops outside of what can simply be smashed to bits.
Again, the punctuation is often unnecessary. Use my advice from "Rain" to figure out some of these sentence. Notice how much punctuation can change the meaning of a stanza. For example, Stanza 2 can be written two ways. 1. Am I real? Or is she? Who sits and stares like I? In this working of the lines, there are three direct questions. 2. Am I or real? Or is she, who sits and stares, like I? Here there are two questions, and the third line of the stanza becomes an adjectival phrase, which describes "she". The meanings between the two stanza written with this punctuation become rather different. Punctuation in poetry, when used intentionally like this, can go far in expanding the meaning of your words.
Good luck in further drafts.
Kurt