Dark (realize rant)
"Do you have any dark secrets?
"I don't know. What do you consider to be a dark secret?"
"Do you have any secrets you wouldn't tell me in the day time?"
i.
and how do you think it feels to know
that I learned more about our family from your ATM pin number
than any conversation we've had all year?
filling my tank in the shivering
dark
I finally connected the dots between nonexistence
and relief.
"Do you have any dark secrets?"
ii.
and you with all the answers,
you filling that imaginary hole in your life
with dark skinned replacements of what you threw away.
go ahead. choose wisely.
empty angled bar fights
and icy abandonment
won't help you erase your plastered shame.
you're throwing away a poet
and a lost sheep,
and as for the one you want--
her self proclaimed paper heart is slowly tearing.
paper lamp confetti for your celebratory
drive away.
"Do you have any dark secrets?"
"You first."
iii.
and it's been four months,
but all you have to show for it is a tan
and several words of portuguese.
it takes mere hours
for you to steer back to the dark, demeaning family rituals
that followed you to the equator
and all the way back.
"Do you have any dark secrets?"
"You first...I can't think of any."
iv.
and I'm thinking along the lines of
those nights when tears were ecstasy,
or the dark summer mornings of fog and smoke.
I'm thinking along the lines of telling all
but I don't
because I figure
you've seen worse.
"Do you have any dark secrets?"
"You first...I can't think of anything."
"Okay. I've got one."
v.
and four years from now,
a door will open on a brick house on a quiet street
and out will walk two boys--
or two men.
it's hard to say how well time will have served them.
but they will pack light,
and they will get in a silver car
with connecticut plates
and drive away,
while their mother, finally at a loss for words,
watches from the upstairs window.
four years from now,
you will take him
to find the father he's never known
because by then he will be eighteen
and she won't be able to stop you.
and you can't answer your own question
because the only things you can whisper
in the forgotten guest room dark
are beautiful things;
the things you find darkest about yourself
are the only true light
in the turning morning hours.
- doyourealize's blog
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Realize...
This piece seems to cover so much deep emotional ground, and it's written so beautifully, that I'm not quite sure how to sum it up. Your use of language is eloquent, as always, but there's a certain eloquence beyond the language that you seem to capture perfectly in the imagery of this piece.
This was my favorite...
"and you can't answer your own question
because the only things you can whisper
in the forgotten guest room dark
are beautiful things;
the things you find darkest about yourself
are the only true light
in the turning morning hours."
...I thought it was a great way to end the piece.
Oh, and if you ever need to talk or vent... you know I'm here to listen :)
~Scimitar
Realize...
I love this piece. You wrote this beautifully. I love your writing style and it is very emotional. I love it. This is my favorite...
"and I'm thinking along the lines of
those nights when tears were exstacy,
or the dark summer mornings of fog and smoke.
I'm thinking along the lines of telling all
but I don't
because I figure
you've seen worse."
-Deepestshade
realize --
This is the best thing I've read on YWP in quite a while. I printed it out, actually, and it inspired me to write in a similar style for an hour or so, which produced my latest post.
Just fantastic, really.
___________________________________________
"The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."
Realize
Oh my gods.
This is beautiful.
This.is.so.going.on.my.wall.and.I.mean.it.this.time.watch.I'm.printing.right.now.
~Sauce
doyourealize~
Um. The only thing I can come up with is
Wow.
...Yeah.
(isn't it "ecstasy"? With a C instead of an X? Or am I confusing myself again, as usual?)
all:
Thank you all so much :)
and threeguesses, yes you are right. That's one of those words that I'll never be able to spell right. But in my defense, this was written in the wee hours of the morning.
~realize
____________________________________________________________________
Que Sera Sera.
A perfectly acceptable
A perfectly acceptable excuse. I believe I once spelled "of" as "uv" at 3 AM because I couldn't remember how to spell it. :)
i like the way you arranged
i like the way you arranged all the sections it made it flow quite well. It made me really think by reading it. I didn't want to stop reading it so that is a great sign of a good piece of writing. good work!
Good work
Great ending here. Knowing when to say when, as the old commercial says, is an important part of good writing.. Rather than go on and on, you bring this crisply worded piece to an unexpected
and riveting conclusion... I like this a great deal...
Reuben Jackson
Good work
Great ending here. Knowing when to say when, as the old commercial says, is an important part of good writing.. Rather than go on and on, you bring this crisply worded piece to an unexpected
and riveting conclusion... I like this a great deal...
Reuben Jackson