On Top of the World

Up here
On the top of the world
There’s nowhere to go
But down
The blood pounds
The light drowns
And all I can hear
Is you
And your heavenly
Sounds
Way up here
On the tippy top
Where all I can see
Is below
Where the feelings grow
Where the words flow
Where all I have
I bestow
On you
And when I’m above
When I’m here on top
All I can do
Is be
No more mediocrity
Or satisfactory
Because for you
I decree
To be better
Up in the sky
Way over my worth
I see more
And know more
And feel more
It heats
My core
You are
My lure
And I can tell
I can tell
What you have
In store
Way up like a bird
I soar
With the planes
It’s freeing
I’m being
I’m finally
Seeing
I feel
The rush
And notice
The power
But the ground
It’s so far
And I’m turning
Sour
And the wind
It devours
And I can’t stop
The downward
It’s swirling
And mixing
And I find the
Coward
Inside of my heart
And under my skin
And there’s no possibility
That I could
Win
Just pull me in
And take me away
Anything
To get out of this
Place
I’m on top of the world
Or so I think
And damnit if this poem
Isn’t a jinx
But you’re here
And I’m here
And it feels like
Forever
And when the rain comes
We’ll fall down
Together.
- Liza's blog
- Login or register to post comments

I really like this. The
I really like this. The emotion comes off as very real and intense.
Some things to look at though- I might suggest adding end punctuation. I think it would help flow and let the reader know where to pause, etc.
I would also advise uncapitalizing the first letter in each line (except of course, in the case of the beginning of the sentence.) Again, I think it would help with the flow and just be easier on the eyes. Just some things to think about.
(These are totally just suggestions. You're the author so it's completely up to you.)
Really good job otherwise, though. :)
Ta.
thanks! i actually had
thanks! i actually had punctuation in it originally, but i was unsure of the placement so i took it out. i'll definitely try again though because i agree that it would make it easier to read. :)