(a girl with names)
I have many names,
no two alike.
Sometimes it changes with each day
or with my mood
or with each person I see.
I trade a name fraught with mold
to a name wrought with gold,
and accept the new me from the people I see.
(But today wasn't so.)
I'm falling apart -
the delicate shell I'd worked so hard to attain,
the shield I've been working so hard to thicken and preserve,
is flaking away with the radiation of
that boy's two words,
and my tears are easily melting whatever had been
left.
I have many names,
but all he had to say was,
"She's ugly,"
and suddenly my name had shifted again.
I'm the girl who's ugly
( - whose face is too red
whose hair is too lank
whose body is too thick - )
and I wish I could say that I took it all in stride,
I wish I could write about how I walked away
with my head held high,
knowing that boy was wrong.
But I didn't;
the seed of doubt had been planted by two small words
and a thumb pointing at me carelessly.
(Do you think it didn't hurt?)
Sometimes a stranger's opinion means more
than the rest.
What if he was looking at me through the eyes of truth?
The eyes of honesty?
Why do I care?
(He's just some boy.)
I have many names,
Insecure is just one of them.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself
raw and
maimed and
real.
And I wonder if this is what
everyone sees.
(Was that what he was looking at?)
And I cry.
I don't want to be ugly,
no one does.
Ugly hurts.
Ugly is a real and repulsive
appearance that
no matter how much people say it doesn't matter,
(sometimes)
matters more than any other portion of the gravity of
love.
Will I never be loved?
I can't believe that,
I can't believe that boy.
But I wonder how my friends could lie to me like that;
how could they see the
raw
real
repulsive
broken pieces of me and
tell me I'm beautiful?
What they call beautiful are the
photoshopped facebook pictures
I spent so much time editing -
the pearly smile
the ocean eyes
the peachy-smooth skin -
that's what they compliment.
I have many names,
Fake is one of them.
When I'm home alone,
sometimes I slide into one of my brother's big t-shirts,
adorn my feet with oversized, overstuffed,
fluffy, purple slippers,
and I dance to old music.
Is there anything so freeing as a
moment spent alone?
Each beat sends tremors through the house,
through my heart,
and my voice can almost be heard over
the speakers.
(Have the Ramones ever been so enjoyed the way I've enjoyed them?)
And I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and wonder
how anything so happy could also be
considered so ugly.
How can any part of me be repulsive when
everything inside me delights?
How can I be a blemish on the face of society when
I'm glowing with such joy?
I wonder if maybe that boy who tore me down so fast and
so readily
could possibly have seen through lying eyes.
I have many names,
no two alike:
some fraught with mold,
others wrought with gold;
(has there ever been such a girl like me?)
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Civ --
1. You are beautiful.
2. So is this.
3. &, no, there has never been such a girl like you & that concept is, in & of itself, breathtaking, lovely, & astounding.
[Just thought I ought to let you know that.]
Neon --
1. You just made me smile.
2. That small act of kindness and me smiling just greatly improved my self-esteem. Something that not much else could've done.
3. I love you and you just put a smile on my face that I'm pretty sure is permanently stuck and for that I thank you and now I'm going to end this run-on sentence.
(Thank you - I needed it more than you know.)
*Civ*
^-^
(Of course, dear. Any time.)
*hugsyou*
<(^_^<)
*hugsback*
(How are you? It's good to see you back.)
*Civ*
--
Eh, I'm incredibly tired right now. Exhausted most of the time, but, eh, I'm alroight.
& you should definitely apply for the conference (CCYWC). You'd love it.
*
That's good to hear. I know you probably have twenty other people in line ahead of me and I know you've also probably heard it a thousand times, so I'm not going to tell you I'm here if you want/need someone. Even if I'm twenty-first. (Because I just very subtly and skillfully told you with subliminal mind-messages.)
If I can afford it, I'm going. No doubt about it.
*Civ*
~~~
Thank you, m'dear. T'means a lot to me.
P.J
You have no idea,
but this just proved your beauty.
You have beautiful words, a beautiful sense of self,
and no matter what anyone says,
you are beautiful.
And such a beautiful friend,
such a beautiful person.
Can I call you mine? ;)
.. Soo glad you came back.
Writer2read....
Civilized = writer to read.
^ it will happen...
Im not sure but I think it should happen soon,
it's been too long.
You've proved yourself too many times,
you never fail to write
memorabley.
re: Civilized & writer2read-ing
...yes. What SuppressMe said.
[This is lovely, by the way. Just... beautiful and so honest and wow. &... yeah.]
*grins*
*grins*
Bigger smiles? I think so.
Shanksh sho mush, Poetic, I don't think I can respond properly.
Well, it seems like my day has just been re-made, and this smile might be a little cocky-looking, but it seems pretty damn hard to remove, too.
So thanks. :D
AND GOODNESS GRACIOUS PIE.
threeguesses just commented on my poem...
I feel honored having three of the best all here all at the same time. Thank you very, very much. It's bringing little tearlets to my eyes! *sobs*
*Civ*
Civ~
Two things:
1: "Goodness gracious pie" has just officially become my favorite expression ever. Win.
2. *is shocked* you think I'm one of the best? *stares in wide-eyed amazement* I feel VERY honored. Very honored indeed. You made me smile. Yay. :)
3G
1. SCORE ONE FOR CIVILIZED!
2. Don't be shocked - it wastes time! Get back to writing about Annis, you slacker. ;)
*Civ*
Civ~
Teehee.
Message received... *heads off to work on part VII*
3G
SCORE TWO FOR CIVILIZED!
Man, I'm just owning everyone at this game...
*Civ*
Civ~
So glad you're back, dear. We missed you! This is such a wonderful piece, fully worthy of Daily Read status.
You ARE beautiful and your friends love you for exactly who you are. They love your gorgeous red hair and beaming smile that is anything but fake. You are spunky and smart, funny, caring, and Beautiful. Anyone who says different is wishing that they had your charisma and uniqueness.
Yes, you have many names, but you missed all the good ones. = )
Ͼirce
So that totals to FOUR
So that totals to FOUR amazing writers, and I have officially reached my awe-zone. (Anyone jealous?!)
Circe, you just made me feel, if possible, even better. I'm telling you, you're going to have to stop before I end up becoming some weirdo who smiles too much...
*Civ*
CIV- I saw you today!
**raiseshand**
I think you're pretty.
(is not just saying that, I've always thought you were really pretty)
And I love this piece. It's very...insightful. :)
Agreed on the WTR thing. You deserve it.
And also. Looks aren't everything, and the people who matter will always think you're beautiful.
~Spauce
btw: CCYWC- pleeeease apply. ♥
SAUCE- I saw you today!
FIVE AMAZINGNESS WRITERS! That's score numero TROIS for civilized! I'm in shock.
Anyways, Special Sauce (haha, like at Burger King)...
Thank you [: I think it will be lovely to do tech with you (I'm uber excited), so be ready for some EPIC after-school tech sessions. Because they will happen.
CCYWC - seems like a lot of money that I may not be able to come up with; we'll see. I'm going to try to guilt my grandparents a little, because I reeeaally want to do it. A lot.
*Civ*
Civvies
Check out the announcements. Our school offers a scholarship for one student for the conference.
You should apply for it. I am.
Spesh
I think I may...
*Civ*
'Is there anything so freeing
'Is there anything so freeing as a moment spent alone?'
I love this line because its true. moments like that are truely great. This poem is very true every girl has their insecurities, and it doesnt help if the boy you like puts you down. This also shows hot todays sociotey focuses on looks for the most part which is wrong. Overall, this is a very true poem and things like this should be recognized more often.
AL -
Thank you very much, Alyssa! I'm glad you recognized and liked the truth I tried to put into this piece. I was really feeling upset when I wrote it, and all my insecurities pretty much poured out onto the screen, and this was the result.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thanks for the loverly comment. :)
*Civ*
I really like this poem. It
I really like this poem.
It really came together when you repeated
the beginning at the end and had the same concept throughout the whole thing.
Thanks! :D
Thanks! :D
*Civ*