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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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Winter Tale

Submitted by Allyson on November 2, 2007 - 13:42.

Stepping out into the white
I smell the winter air.
The clouds of smoke
Mark every breath I take.

My eyes shut slightly
Adjusting to the bright.
Sun gleams off fresh snow
That fell the night before.

Bundled up
I touch the snow.
Every step I take
Crunching beneath my feet.

Sledding down the hill.
Feeling the wind sting my face.
Running up again
To take another run.

Testing the flakes
Packing them in my gloves.
Creating artwork
From three balls of snow.

Finally done;
Nose, buttons and all.
Time to return home
Hot chocolate and warmth await.

Winter Tale

Submitted by ebates on November 2, 2007 - 15:57.

Hi Allyson,
This is a really nice poem about some of my favorite parts of winter! I really liked your choice of words to describe the wintry scene, especially "gleams," "sting," and "crunching." You make it very easy for the reader to imagine himself or herself in your shoes and enjoy the sledding and the snow-man building with you. Why not add a little more to it to stimulate even more fond memories in your reader? You could talk about snow angels, a frozen pond, snow tunnels or anything else you might have done as a child.
Overall, you did a really great job! I think I might have to go drink a mug of hot chocolate after this. Keep up the good work!
~Elizabeth

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