Seven-Maiden Voyage

Locke-Peter's picture

They said later that the ship was cursed. That the devil himself had crawled across the foredeck, clicking his hooves and sowing terrible seeds.

It was just another boat leaving London, that lovely black pit, to go somewhere fresh and new and green....

The colonies, land of opportunity, America.

The passengers were a mixed lot. Some poor, some rich, and they slid in like snakes, coiling their way through the throng.

The voyage went as smooth as could be predicted for two weeks. Then the helmsmen fell asleep at the wheel, late at night, and the ship sailed into a massive bank of clouds, and the night grew dark as a dead man's eye. Two navigators, both seasoned sailors, plunged into the dark cold sea fighting over the shiny gold of the captain's good compass.

They were directionless, drifting. The panic spread like wildfire among the passengers. For days they drifted, caught in a sea of green below and gray above, and rats were devouring the food...

More men fell sleeping at their posts, or fought over what should have been long forgotten quarrels. The captian disappeared on the third day, into his cabin in the company of a lovely lady passenger, raven haired and beautiful.

The mutiny began when they found him. Two days had passed, and the sailors broke down the door because of the smell. The captain had been killed, and not neatly. The girl was nowhere to be found.

The passengers rioted, furious at the incompetent sailing men. No one knows who fired the first shot, but quickly the ship descended into chaos.

A week and a half later, a starving man drank the last of the water and fell asleep for the final time.

The ship drifted into the beach, a sad, tattered hulk. Dead men hung from the sails.

Seven left the boat, swift as serpents, deadly as all the venom in the world.

Seven entered the new world, and found their perfect home.

-Locke and Peter

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Neon Wings's picture

The ending was electrifying

The ending was electrifying and raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

...

Nice job; not many thing can horrify me. :)

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NonSequitur's picture

Gods, this sounds like

Gods, this sounds like something you would tell around a campfire to chill everyone's bones and make them grateful for the comfort of their sleeping bags.

One thing that confuses me a bit is that the captain disappeared on the third day. If he was present for the first two days, why wasn't he doing anything to help? I know the good compass fell overboard, but wouldn't there be others?

Also, I feel like "sailing men" should either be hyphenated or written as one word. Writing it as one word would give an archaic sort of feel, if that's what you're going for. And in the third paragraph, I think that a period would work after "land of opportunity." It would lend more emphasis.

On to part III!

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