A Lesson in Duality: Handing in My Resignation

Directions opposite in turn [that ropes two uses, which Dutch Double]
Having read the same passages ten times over, I’m fin-ding
refuge in reading the syllables backwards and taking lib-er-ties
with punctuation [and grammar] – I have a license to destroy the fibrous mounds of language
I have compiled around me, draped sinew-like about my shoulders, wear so proudly
as if to say, “I am complete and you are a cashier, bagging spoiled milk and returning home to smell
of cucumbers”. No! I no longer fear the fragment sentence. Not that I ever have. Nor the winding
foreboding of a lurking comma hiding amongst my “and”s. And, who so dares to comment on my misplaced
use of therlopothy or malcontent shall find his un-politically corrected arse up the chimney
sweep I
dare say – and towhatfor and whattowhit I do declare I care not a bit for your malformed and malicious
moans to my working horror drones — for I have won my right to a well-place “i” a local anesthetic in my name, a plaque of irresponsible incompetence for my metaphors to lie in. So TAKE
your baggage counter malcontent and throw it up the intellect for my opinion so unfolds to
make those biddies scream for shame at my elapsed ellipses and the rotten wooing of this English game!
Cry out for my ill-begotten sentence structure as I curse the world that taught me
“i before e”. In an equal rights E-qualit-ee age I reject the “receiving” and reinstate the wierd.
Watch me as I woo iambic pentameter in the staunchest of free verse loony bins: my contradictions earned through years of obnoxious grammar snobbery–

Underscore that, Mr. [Webster]. I quit.