Michael Jordan
Submitted by hassan on November 13, 2007 - 13:04.
MICHAEL JORDAN
BY
HASSAN CANSLER
Michael Jordan is a unique famous basketball player
He is one of the most unbelievable athletes ever
The shoe line he has influence him to do better
Other players
And the whole world
Michael Jordan is a great team player
His dunks make the crowd go insane
He is also known as the king of basketball
Michael Jordan is a positive role model to kids
He tells kids to follow their dreams
And never give up
Michael Jordan try’s his best
To inspire people not to do drugs
Michael Jordan is my hero
He taught me to never give up
And follow my dreams
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
this is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet if u like michael jordan
UVM Mentor Hassan, as
UVM Mentor
Hassan, as someone who can spend in entire afternoon watching Jordan commercials and highlight montages on youtube, I couldn't agree with you more.
Your content is flawless. We need now to examine your presentation. You've chosen to write a poem, and again I could not agree more that an ode to Michael Jordan is one of the best poems you can write. That said, in order for this to become a poem, it needs a lot of work. And on the other hand, in order for it to become a biographical essay, it needs a lot of work. As you've chosen poetry, I'll focus on that.
Your first two lines are true statements, but they are simply statements. Michael Jordan is a unique [and?] famous basketball player. This is a statement of truth. In poetry, the writer attempts to convey truths such as these by creating images with his words or calling the reader's memory or senses to attention.
What makes Michael Jordan so great? Are there specific images that you look at and just know, Michael is amazing? Try in your poem to make the reader understand Jordan's greatness without coming out and stating: Jordan is great.
Good luck with this.
Kurt