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Because I Did Not Brake for Death--An Emily Dickinson Parody
Because I did not brake for Death,
We collided, him and me;
The jerk dented in the front of my car,
And spilled my Latte all over me.
I slowly drove, I knew no haste,
So I cannot fathom why
I did not see them stop earlier,
Him and Immortality.
"You stupid fuck", yelled Death to me,
"You've caused me great delay;
There are four hundred thousand Souls
Scheduled to die today."
"I had no time to stop", said I,
"Nor steer my Chevy wide."
"No matter now", that Phantom groused;
"Don't make me get the Scythe."
"Okay, okay, I'm on my way,
No need to lose your temper."
"I'm not losing anything", said Death,
"But I'll see you in December."
NOTE: Sincere apologies to any Emily Dickinson fans out there...relax, it's a joke!