Because I Did Not Brake for Death--An Emily Dickinson Parody

wingpoet's picture

Because I did not brake for Death,

We collided, him and me;

The jerk dented in the front of my car,

And spilled my Latte all over me.

 

I slowly drove, I knew no haste,

So I cannot fathom why

I did not see them stop earlier,

Him and Immortality.

 

"You stupid fuck", yelled Death to me,

"You've caused me great delay;

There are four hundred thousand Souls

Scheduled to die today."

 

"I had no time to stop", said I,

"Nor steer my Chevy wide."

"No matter now", that Phantom groused;

"Don't make me get the Scythe."

 

"Okay, okay, I'm on my way,

No need to lose your temper."

"I'm not losing anything", said Death,

"But I'll see you in December."

 

NOTE: Sincere apologies to any Emily Dickinson fans out there...relax, it's a joke!

 

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Comments

:D

i.LO.VErmont's picture

Bahaha! This made me laugh so hard! Especially the ending.

I love Emily Dickinson, but this was hilarious!

Great job, no criticism here!

ϟ

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

:D

i.LO.VErmont's picture

Bahaha! This made me laugh so hard! Especially the ending.

I love Emily Dickinson, but this was hilarious!

Great job, no criticism here!

ϟ

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

:)

ReinaXC's picture

 This poem made me smile.

I love the rhyme, it is great. And I love the idea of Death as a character. This poem reminded me of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, because Death is a character in that book.

-Reina

:D

Fey Lady's picture

This is so funny!  Great job!

Death has a dirty mouth :P

From your fellow writer

YWP Intern

Oh boy. I love this. Oh. and

Summer Gal's picture

Oh boy. I love this.

Oh. and if you're writing another thing with death anytime soon, please tell him to send Emily Dickonson a copy of this.

This made me smile! It's immensely funny, baha. Great work.

The Saltwater Room by Owl City