An Ode to Rhymes
Submitted by mrsparker on December 26, 2007 - 10:13.
Rhymes are so cool,
you can rhyme anything.
The only thing you can't rhyme
is the word orange.
Maybe you can rhyme it.
Why would you I want to find out.
You can try for me--
Do it, I dare you.
Rhyme anything you want,
although I won't.
Read this ode again--
it's kind of ironic.
my thoughts
Anthony,
I like how you address your ode to rhyme. I also think that it's interesting how you don't actually use any rhyme in your ode. However, to declare that you're being ironic at the end sort of takes all the fun out of it. It's kind of like having to explain the punch line of a joke. So try to find a way to show the reader the irony of your not using any rhymes without saying it outright. Also, your ode feels choppy. Try reading it aloud and I think you'll see what I mean. You can fix that choppiness by trying to keep the same number of syllabyls in each line. Finally, I think there are other words besides orange that don't have rhymes. For example, purple I think can't be rhymed. Also, I heard once that you can rhyme orange with door-hinge. Well, it's just something to think about. Try taking another look at this and see what more you can do. You're off to a good start. Good luck!
-Dani