Wishing On A Broken Star
“If you could name that star, what would it be?” He quietly whispered in her ear while pointing to a star among millions. His lips grazed her ear tickling her heart. She laughed a little in the darkness, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“I wouldn’t name it at all…” Her eyes scanned the sky. Her face became serene all emotion vanished. He looked at her and realized in that moment he wanted and cared for nothing else but her. He wished this night would last forever; that her hands would never be removed from the warmth of his side. That the sparkle in her eyes would never fade, her laugh would never subside.
“No?” His words escaped his lips without thought.
“No.” Her eyes skipped across the sky and paused on his face. Her heart raced inside her chest. All she wanted was for this moment to last.
. . .
He opened his eyes; The alarm clock screaming in his ears. His fists clenched tight. Bad dreams... good dreams then, only he wished it were reality. Sadly it had been a year, he wished she had melted into the sky, faded into the moon, the clouds or something… maybe even be that nameless star. But dreams were all he had left. She had died that night… He blamed himself.
- 1498 of 33599
- Mini_little_me's blog
- Login or register to post comments
OMG
OMG I want to read more!!!!!!!!! WHat happened that night to her?? Please write more to this, i love it so far
Definatly gonna agree with
Definatly gonna agree with Summer on this o.o
must... know.....
I like to write in pen. Then I'm not tempted to erase how I feel.
~Ciel
Wow.
Frankly, this is amazing. You need to continue this. Please! You might want to add why she didn't want to name the star. It just seems to plummet to when he wakes up, and adding more about the star might slow the fall. Just an idea.
Love
Not gonna lie, I'm in love with this. Your discriptions are amzing, I really felt like I was there. This looks like a very good begining to a story. I would like to read more. How and why did she die? Why does he blame himself? I don't know if you intended the story to end there but if not I again say I would love to read more.
-Silver
Presuming...
this is an introduction, what is the back story? Where are you taking us next?
What I liked about this was the strength with which you handled the dialogue. I liked the exchange "No?"... "No.".... I like the image of the stars, of naming the star, of his asking her to name it.
So if this is the start of a longer story, I encourage you to think out how you are going to use that image, and why the image is important. I was wondering about the main character's thinking -- what does this mean, exactly: "he wished she had melted into the sky, faded into the moon, the clouds or something… maybe even be that nameless star."
I imagine that you'll tell me when, and if, you continue with this.
Thanks for sharing this.
gg
Great start..or Great end?
I feel like I'm stuck, s the end of the story, or the beginning. Which ever it is, please write more.