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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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Green

Submitted by fairfield55 on January 9, 2008 - 12:22.

Green

By Adrian Forbes
Fairfield Center School, Grade 5

Green is the outdoors to me.

Our world is mostly green.

Green is warm summer days

Eating tasty beech nuts under a tree.

Or hunting squirrels barefoot.

Green is playing football

In the spring with family.

Or fishing on cold spring

Mornings from shore.

Then catching a big bright emerald

Green bass with black spots.

Green is my favorite color.

Adrian Forbes 1/8/08

I liked it

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

I liked it

Hi this poem was very good

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

Hi this poem was very good

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

Hi this poem was very good

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

Hi this poem was very good

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

hi

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

Hi this poem was very good

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:45.

Hi this poem was very good bye

hi

Submitted by fairfield55 on March 27, 2008 - 12:46.

Hi this poem was very good bye

slunden's picture

UVM Mentor Comment

Submitted by slunden on March 28, 2008 - 16:35.

Hey Adrian,

Nice poem! Green is my favorite color too, so maybe I'm a bit biased, but I really like how you describe "green" not only with green objects but with moments and actions, like "warm summer days / Eating tasty beach nuts under a tree. / Or hunting squirrels barefoot." Green is your favorite color for a reason, for it colors, both literally and figuratively, your favorite experiences. The poem is also very advanced in its progression from a general list of your favorite "green" things to the specific moment of fishing and "catching a big bright emerald / Green bass with black spots".
In fact, I think that you could end the poem there. Your message comes through very well in your descriptions, and you don't really need lines like "Green is my favorite color" or the first two lines. Without them, the poem is already stronger; adding a few more "green scenes" toward the beginning would further illustrate for the reader how "green is the outdoors to" you, etc.

Again, great job!
Suzanne

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