pro as heck guide to writing poetry
Hello, I am Bart the General, and welcome to my pro as heck guide to writing poetry.
You have now entered the POETRY ZONE.
Poetry is the bestest form of writing of all times,
better than that wimpy prose or childish theatre,
poetry is how a real man expresses his feelings.
While poetry is an incredibly manly and best writing ever of all time,
it requires some preparation to make it more better.
Firstly, acquire a writing untensil,
this could be something like a jackalope horn, or a dragon's tooth.
We are also going to need something to write on,
so that other people can gaze upon your incredibly awsome verse.
Go to Egypt and get some papyrus,
this will give your poetry authenticity, and all the ladies will dig it.
If you are planning on using a computer, do not.
Computers are for completely scrubs who do not know how to write poetry.
If you have used a computer to read this,
uninstall everything and then burn your computer.
Now that we are properly set up, we may begin to compose that sick poetry.
Begin by writing down words.
Now make those words rhyme with other words that you write down.
Once you have done that, write down some more words and then take a break.
When your break is over, you are now ready for some more poetry action.
Touch up your poem by adding some drawings of werewolves and rabbits.
This will scare away anyone who is not manly enough to read your poetry.
Feel free to make your own adjustments to make your verse even more improved.
You know when you are done when you have won every Nobel Prize and have achieved world peace.
Congratulations. You are now pro as heck at writing poetry.
Use your expert skills to impress all the womens and acquire massive amounts of cash and self esteem.
Be sure to tune in next time where I will show you my pro as heck guide to calculus.