Girls, Part IX
Jennah
I'm sitting on my heels
In the library
Again
Looking through
The science fiction
And trying to decide between
Computers and aliens,
Aliens in the future,
Future computers,
Or
One book with all three.
A pair of
Denim
Flip-flops
Appear
Beside me
And I
Look up,
Startled.
I haven't
Talked to her
For
A couple weeks now.
But I know those
Denim flip-flops
By heart.
"Hi,"
She says.
"I'm
Katie."
I can hear
The smile
Rising
Through her voice.
"Hi,"
I tell her
And slide to my
Feet.
"I'm
Jennah,"
I say
And kiss her.
And she kisses me
Back.
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FINALLY
THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!!
MAKE THIS INTO A BOOK PLEASE!! YOUR WRITING IS SO AMAZING I COULD READ IT FOREVER
I think
I think this is going to be the end, but I'm really not sure. Is it too sudden? Should I continue into X, or just leave the reader here?
NO!!
DO NOT LEAVE
XXXXXXX!
The problem:
The problem:
What can I say? The only thing left to write is something on how some people still look at the two of them oddly when they hold hands, or that poor Jason has pretty much gotten over the whole thing. Or I could be cruel and have them break up, but I really can't see that happening.
It might be best just to end it here.
I think you should carry out
I think you should carry out the time between eight and nine, its all alittle too sudden. just me!
How about
At the beginning:
Katie
There's a
Flash of blue hair
Through the door to
The library
And I follow it,
Pushing through
Milling backpacks,
Thinking,
There's something I
Want to do.
Jennah
I'm sitting on my heels
Looking through
The science fiction
And trying to decide between
Computers and aliens,
Aliens in the future,
Future computers,
Or
One book with all three.
i think that does it, just a
i think that does it, just a couple of lines to form a connection...
I love this, but I feel like
I love this, but I feel like they kiss too quickly. You use so much detail in the rest of it , I feel like you should be describing the room or the way that they touch/look at each other more...
Sure.
Sure. Hang on...
Edit
A pair of
Denim
Flip-flops
Appear
Beside me
And I
Look up,
Startled.
I haven't
Talked to her
For
A couple weeks now.
But I know those
Denim flip-flops
By heart.
The library
Is suddenly
Quieter,
The other students
Hidden from view
By rows of
Fiction shelves.
We're in a
Private
Corridor
Lined with
Books.
"Hi,"
She says.
"I'm
Katie."
I can hear
The smile
Rising
Through her voice
And feel the heat of my answering grin
Blossoming
Up to meet her.
"Hi,"
I slide to my
Feet,
Turn to
Face her
Close.
"I'm
Jennah,"
I say
And kiss her.
And she kisses me
Back.
I think this resolves rather
I think this resolves
rather nicely,
actually.
I wasn't expecting it,
but it's not so much of a shock
that it turns the reader away.
I agree- going further with this
might detract.
Beautiful.
Thanks, Imagine.
Thanks, Imagine.
I do think
I'll end it here.
Now I'm
Going back
And polishing
Them all.
Usagi... U
Usagi...
U R...
...absolutely amazing
:) hehe
:)
hehe
Um...
"hehe"?
I don't really know. It was
I don't really know.
It was the first thing I
thought of
when I finished reading your
poem.
Weird things happen
when
I'm tired...
It's all right...
It's all right...
Me too...
I just spent
The entire day
Skiing at Smuggs.
I haven't skiied
In three years.
Miraculously, I didn't hit
A single
Tree.
I was at smuggs ALL DAY
I was at smuggs
ALL DAY TODAY!
Were you on the
upper mountains?
Morse.
Morse.
I was
"Green circles all the way!"
(Though actually
Harder ones...
Damn you, Dad...)
I was pretty shaky
On those skis.
Ok well, we almost had an
Ok well,
we almost had an intersection,
not that we would've known
anyway.
Don't you just love that
chairlift?
:P
Ah yes...I love all
Ah yes...I love all chairlifts...
The droning vibration that instantly makes anyone need a bathroom,
The groan like a car hitting an icy road,
The odd sound like a giant mouse chewing on the cables...
Oh yes.
But I like all the people-watching
I can do
From above.
And I met some pretty cool people
I was paired with
When I rode single.
I was paired with a
I was paired with a woman
today
and I told her I was from
Utah
and that my aunt lives in
colchester and that
we come here every year for
two weeks.
I was surprised how
easy
it was for me to lie to
her, though
I found it amusing when she
started telling me about
the "huge storm!" I missed
on Monday.
I like riding
Mogul Mouse on
occaison,
because sometimes you're
paired with the coolest
little kids.
There was
There was this one guy
A few years older than I was
And we started talking about
Japan--I'd mentioned
I'd lived there.
I think the guy thought I was
Older, because he was
Semi-flirting
With me, which was
Funny.
Another time I got paired with this
Completely silent kid--about eight--
Who said "uh" to my initial question--
"So you're with a ski class?"--
And pretty effectively communicated
"Leave me alone, underling."
hahaha I think flirting
hahaha
I think flirting is
so funny
in ski gear.
I was paired with this older
guy who
did.
not.
say one word the entire
time,
except to clear his
throat once
and he actually sat with his
back to me,
twisted up in the most
awkward position and he
kept giving my skis wierd glances
out of the corner of his
eye.
Ha! That's great. I remember
Ha! That's great.
I remember being
younger
And when I was lucky enough to be paired with
Another girl my age
We would become instant friends
In those ten minutes
Then forget each other's names
Within the next ten.
Gods, can you imagine
If we did meet
Like on a chairlift?
I'd probably start going on about
Something
Because I don't like silence
In chairlifts--
It just reminds me of how
Cold and
High up we are.
And you'd pick up on
Something familiar
And we'd
Figure it out...
That would've been
So
Cool.
That WOULD be cool. You
That WOULD be cool.
You never know,
it could happen.
I think you'd be immensely
interesting
to meet in person,
especially if we were on
a chairlift
and thought we didn't
know each other.
"Oh, that's funny.
"Oh, that's funny.
I met someone
Online
Who's a lot like you."
"Really?
Where?"
"Wow, And you lived
"Wow,
And you lived in
Japan
For a while?"
"Yep. Say,
"Yep. Say, what was that person's
Username?"
"Something about Rabbits..."
"Something about
Rabbits..."
"That's so funny. I
"That's so funny. I could swear...
See, I frequent a writing site
And my username there
Means rabbit..."
Darnit. Gotta go. Shower.
Will return.
That's the point in the
That's the point in the conversation where I would shout
USAGI!!
And then it would get pretty awkward,
since we'd realize the same
thing
at the same
time
and it's hard to really
do much else in gear and
ski poles.
I think from now,
on,
whenever I ride with
someone remotely close to my age
I will say something about
japanese rabbits...
just in case...
And I
And I
YWP
And cellos.
Sounds like a
Sounds like a plan,
then,
although I guess after March
8th,
it might not be so
neccessary anyway
Riiiiight.
Riiiiight.
(Yay!)
I know. I'm quite (excited!)
I know.
I'm quite
(excited!)
Indeed. Sadly, I must
Indeed.
Sadly, I must go
Feign sleep.
I likely won't have a chance
To get on
Later tonight.
G'night, everyone!
Goodnight Usagi!
Goodnight Usagi!
Night.
Night.
I hate skiing and SNOW!!
I hate skiing and SNOW!!
I think you're in
I think you're in the wrong state...
definitely!
definitely!
Bye, I have to gooooo, my
Bye, I have to gooooo, my dad wants his laptop!
BYE!!
Oyasumi Nasai!
I heart you all!
your writing is so
your writing is so amazing.....you make me feel really jeleous. Really....no kidding. I really wish I could write anything as good as you. Although you make a girl feel broken, like I need improvement, which to you may be good or bad. I'M LIKE YOUR #1 FAN!!!