Home

Autumn
I sidled onto the bland schoolbus where few spoke and few filled the gum-riddled seats
Which offered plenty of time to ponder my sorrows and be swept away in the gales of what seemed would never be tomorrow
As coldness dawned it wasn't too different from the previous although rather than get-to-know-you games
The tests and the stress piled on which should have been a distraction but instead had me wishing for home even more

And time itself adorned in thick brown glasses dug the hollows of my heart deeper to my patience all for tomorrow
The real tomorrow that I thought would never come
Tomorrow I'm going home

Winter
The snowflakes in all their delicate beauty only pierced my heart even more
Pierced my deep longing for the forest and the family in this icy opposition of peace
And even though I reached the halfway point of this many hours and this many days I could not imagine reliving that stretch of time
Once more willingly torturing myself all for a week at home when tomorrow would seemingly never come

And time itself adorned in thick brown glasses dug the hollows of my heart deeper to my patience all for tomorrow
The real tomorrow that I thought would never come
Tomorrow I'm going home

Spring
The grievances petered out slowly but surely allowing me to open up from my swallows of darkness just enough
To offer the slightest smile to a few new friends even through a flimsy blue mask that I didn't even have to wear
It should be noted that I never got COVID which was really only good for preventing me from more time dwelling alone
At my house over not being home still I rose in happiness for I suppose the memories of home had faded for the better or worse

And time itself adorned in thick brown glasses dug the hollows of my heart deeper to my patience all for tomorrow
The real tomorrow that I thought would never come
Tomorrow I'm going home

Summer
The days edged closer and I skimmed countless letters to myself from the fall of my September sorrows
Oh, Elise, how lucky you are to be returning home so soon. Just think---you'll see everyone, you'll see the forest, you'll sing the songs
A touch of relentless worry in me didn't want to go home fearing that I would ruin the whole experience with dread
For when it was over but then again home was not a place where any dread could reach

Home was a place of peace
Laughter
Love
Music
Joy
Tears
Jokes
Adventures

And time itself adorned in thick brown glasses dug the hollows of my heart deeper to my patience all for tomorrow
The real tomorrow that I thought would never come
Tomorrow I'm going home.

elise.writer

VT

15 years old

More by elise.writer

  • butterflies

    i don't want to love someone

    because i'm supposed to

    you told me, one night in mid-july.

    warm air and sun fading in the sky,

    i want to fall in love with someone

  • lotus

    i've heard this story a thousand times before.

    i've seen it unfold. it started with a glance, became a smile,

    became a longing. when i realized it was my turn,

    i was too late. no one told me how hard it would be