poem

Bleached skin,
devoid of sun.
It is nothing
but a toothless maw
gumming, groping
for the digestive products.

It squats,
mouth open,
immobile,
It's single deformed arm
held out like a warning
to all who enter the lair.

The arm clanks down,
the warning ignored,
and it swallows
the precious waste
before
belching with gluttonous satisfaction.

It seems to find
glee in the consumption
of this most vile matter.
It seem to find
happiness in the exploitation
of our most noble race.

Going where it will,
Willing where it goes.
Quickly, loudly, gracef'lly flows, and

Where it's now I cannot say -
The gusting wind took my pearl away.

Growing and flowing -
With each the pool grows.
As dramatically, dynamically, into'it flows;

That pearl that the wind took away
For it rests now. Where? I cannot say.

Each part proves the whole, with
The whole truth made of parts -
Wholly, partly, but sep'rately starts

That wind that blew that pearl that way.
... I cannot say where it lies today.

The pearl is the pool,
But the pool's made of pearls
Which is which?
No man knows.
... The pearl-pool just swirls.

I'm posting this in two places. A few questions:

1. Is this a good idea?
2. Why or why not?
3. How is it?

Still sighing for TDI,
/gradster(1)/

Feeling so lightheaded
There's no more difference between the
lines of the crooked sidewalk
or streaking clouds.
You're just like a leech.
Sucking
ripping
Teeth to hold on so impossibly.
Wriggling
grotesque
foreign
containment

Some people consider you a gift of life.
To lick out all that poison
You probably injected into them the first place!
Some people would sprinkle salt over your
Worthless skin.
You're just like a leech.
Sucking
ripping
Teeth to hold on so impossibly.
Wriggling
Grotesque
Foreign
containment

Don't bite back the finger dangling over
The pit where the gnashing canine teeth
grind over and over again.

Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple

Cherry
Orange
Lemon
Lime
Blueberry
Grape

Twizzlers
Gobstoppers
Sour Patch Kids
Skittles

Yum

Yuck

Filled with dye
Actually makes me cry
As I expell
The color
From my stomach
Feels like I'm in hell

I throw up
What I shouldn't have eaten
No real food
Just candy
All day
It's not the way
To spend your life
Getting sick
Causing strife

Go to the movies
Eat the chemicals
Half way through
Sprint to the bathroom
Hope you're not going to die

It sucks

Candy's addicting
Tastes so good
Hurts so bad
Uses all the ATP
Your body ever had
To get rid of the crap
Make sure it never
Comes back

Stop eating
You tell yourself
To what end?
You can't mend
The formation of tastebuds
That love
The sugary
Fruity
Goodness

Help

They want you
To taste the rainbow
All I'm tasting is
The up-throw

You're leaving and I don't know what to say.
One by one, just falling away.
Like removing an infant's spine,
A single vertebra at a time.
Gone.
You say you're taking a break,
But define break.
Does break mean everlasting?
too long?
Enough that we start to lose
the thumbs, the torso, the legs...
Finally left with the brain?

Well, guess what, I'm stayin'.
So "brain", what's next?

Sitting on a throne
Made of thread
Shimmering silver
Not yet red.

Reaching farther than the dimming horizon.
I laughed as if I don't know.
I laughed as if I wasn't listening before.
Hahaha. Hahaha.Hahaha.Haha...

They follow me wherever I go.
To bathroom, to school,
To restaurants, to bed.
To blankets, to windows,
To highways, to food court.
To everywhere

Came home tonight, didn't expect much.
Some leftover rice, lettuce soup, and maybe some green beans too.
"Hey, I'm home."
It was quieter than usual.
I walked upstairs to handshake with the dark.
She was standing, hunched.
Her hand clutched to that black device, her lifesaver.
Father put away those empty shells he munched.

"What's up?" Alarmed, my voice high with deception.
Ignored and shunned, I knew what I would find in this direction.
Bloodshot eyes, tissues crumpled,
tussled hair, voices mumbled.

Folding away
Fragments of glass
Shimmering a column of
What's it called?
Light.
Blowing bubbles to the nonexistent surface.
I know I'm heading up.
I keep blowing them as much as much I can.
Flailing my legs.
Such lead...
Such lead...
Ivory panes greet my obscured cheek.
Not cold, not warm, but cool.
Heart keeps thumping

louder.Louder.LOUDER.

I need it. I need it.

Just one more...
This time, I don't see where it's going.
Pummeling the the glass I thought once were
my ticket to faraway Neverland
Now are my barrier.
Can't breathe...Can't breathe...
Can't breathe...Can't breathe...

Lifting up my left arm, I suddenly see,
The beige that's melting away.

'Tis now...
Silence.
No more memories to share.
Got no more new emails
Or days to bear.
I've waited
Days
Days
Days on end.
Up to now.
I should be okay, right?
I should be, "Oh it's okay. You don't exist. Never Never!"
But, I'm lying to myself, aren't I?
A little more than the usual.
Blast from the past? Hahah, I'm game.
It hit me fast, fast as a slap in the face.
Stinging, ringing, twitching, HARD.
I thought I was over it, really!
I thought you were done, seriously!
Stopped, did the blooming concern
Stopped, did the yearning burn.
Now now, I'm just a little girl.
Went and typed and typed to her heart's content.
Only to find, what it really meant.
Found him, the shining star.
He said he would come soon.
When the sun came low and laughter was sparse.
Three silly boys, came to meet a dream's end.
One's off to forever matrimony
Another's off twiddling his thumbs
And the last, saunters aimlessly to nowhere.
Myself, I...
Try my best to hide the reminiscence of
"The three young men and forever lost."

It was quite amazing tonight.
A moon so bright.
Half empty, half full?
I could still feel the taste of his breath
On my lips.

So sweet...

I couldn't talk through such
blubbering lips.
Decided to just lay down
into the cool grass
I tumbled through and through.
Eyelids fluttering
like a lingering butterfly

Sorry daddy
Didn't mean for you to walk out that door.
Didn't mean for mommy to yell you out the window.

Should have known when you started laying out a suitcase each morning
On your bed that's now covered in dust.
Should have know when you started giving me the saddest eyes
When I said "Bye Daddy!"
Should have known when you started sitting in the car
For hours and hours looking blankly ahead.
Should have known when you started coming home later and later
each night

Now you're just standing here, all alone.
Mommy's got a new set of pills in the bathroom
And she doesn't bother to look at me anymore.
uneasy silence
Is this the time when I should start worrying?
Is this a fading dream or a creeping reality?

I want to write about his eyes,
But I’m not sure their color,
And I want to write about his voice,
But I’ve never heard a word uttered.

I can write about his brain,
And the intelligence that pours out,
Or I can talk about his style,
The best without a doubt.

I want to someday write about him,
Less oblivious and more deep,
But now I just have to imagine,

I hear about others,
Asked and rejected,
And others,
accepted.
Accepted the chance,
To the game of luck,
The heart’s dance,
To love and be loved,
Or loved and dumped.
Will your heart trip and break,
Or will it waltz perfectly?
My broke and healed long ago,
And it’s ready to dance again.
Mine wishes to foxtrot with only a few,
A select few
That are already dancing,

I look out to the dark night sky,
And I think of you.
The sky is the color of your hair.

I look to my cup of tea,
And I think of you.
Your sunglasses are about that shape.

I look to the forest,
And I think of you,
It’s as quiet and mysterious as you.

I look at my computer
And I think of you,
On the other side typing away.

I look at my garden gnome,
And I think of you,

When I talk to you,
I put my words through spell-check,
In my mind
Over
And over
And over again
To make sure
Everything comes out right.
And sometimes,
Nothing comes out,
But I’m hoping you can see
What I am trying to get across
In my eyes.
When you sit next to me,
My mind goes on overdrive.
I kind of wish
That you could see inside my mind
So you may be able to figure me out,

How can I ever tell you
That I love you,
That my heart pounds for you,
That I cant live
one waking moment
without thinking about you?
That my poems are about you,
And the hearts I that draw on papers
Are inspired by you.
How can I ever tell you these things,
If you don’t even talk to me?