Stress

I wrote this poem in April (I think):

stressed
been working
so hard

the pain
it's almost
unbearable

my life
a drawing
erased
redrawn
started over

switching interests
can't make up
my mind

nothing stays the same
everything keeps
changing

i learned that
she's leaving
soon

no word on
whether or not
he'll stay

the emotion
the drama
too much
all at once

i need things
not to change
all the time

i'm growing up
getting older
my body tries
to catch up with my brain

everyone says
i'm mature
they trust me
to be perfect

but i'm still
learning
believe it
or not

they both
trust me
i need
them both

help

she said
she'll give me
her email address
but that's
not enough

i pray
they'll always
be there

and they won't

already
i've lost him
once

will i be able
to recover
if he's lost
again

we're closer now
than ever
before

we think each others
thoughts
we speak each others
words

Too much.
All too much.
Too much for me to handle.
I just can't, but I try.

All too much for me to handle.
All so hard to live like this.
Too much work, too much play.
Too much joy, too much pain.
All so much, I just don't want.

More than enough, is way too much,
more, more, than much,
if more at all, too much much more,
if ever more, i got a rest,
I should take it in a flash.

Cannot think, nor sleep, or dream,
stress and pain are like caffeine,
breathe hard, but it does not go away,
I might just melt, and drift
to who knows where,
or who even cares.

I don't want to do my work,
but it must be done, and by me,
but somewhere inside,
there is a little boy
who just doesn't give a dam.

I have these french verbs
'dancing round in my head
they make me so dizzy
I fall on my bed.

They execute steps
I know nothing about
Then they twirl 'cross the floor
But i don't know the route.

I step on their toes
and receive icy stares
I slide them sweet smiles
But i get tight-lipped stares.

The dance calls for a twirl
But they spin me around
'Til my head is a tail
and my feet leave the ground.

The world keeps on spinning
Around and Around
My head's spinning too
But it's homeward bound

As I lose all my balance
And I fall to the ground
My plastered on smile
Turns into a frown

What right have these callous
and blue nosed verbs
Past tense, conditional
and Imparfait
Have to waltz through my mind
while sipping their brews
when I was about
to have such a nice day?

To get rid of these snobs
while they pose with their punch,
I hang up a sign that says
Quote, "out to lunch"

A Land Off The Shores of Heaven
By: Derrick Spalding

In a place where dreams become reality,
The tides of new beginnings wash up,
Past thoughts and mix them with new ones.
When caught in the vast radiant ocean,
You’ll be crushed with intertwining calamities.
When you’re feeling completely drowned out of glee,
And you’re breathing your last breath of happiness,
Remember that you have new up coming thoughts,
To suppress the old stressful ones.
Soon you’ll forget them and be sailing off,
To the paradise not far off shores to your heaven.

I admit I needed you
perhaps too much
physically
back then

it was because
I was lonely
and I needed someone to
cling to.

sure, I had friends
but they were new
and i wasn't used to them

I was stressed out
and I'm sorry I took it out
on you
and everyone around me.

I should just stop
thinking about it
because it just makes me feel
worse.

But I can't stop.

So bad…
I should be doing my homework,
But…
I just can’t.
My focus keeps shifting,
“I’ll do it later!”
I keep telling myself.
Will I?
Will I actually do it later?
I have to.
25% of my grade…
I have to…
But…
There are so much better things I could be doing,
Like writing,
Or listening to music,
Or doing some insanely better thing…

All I want is some time to myself, to do something that I enjoy for the first time in a while, but it doesn’t seem like I’m going to get that. I’ll tell you why I’m stressed out. I don’t have any time to do my laundry, so I wore a pair of dirty pants today, and all of my dirty clothes are spread across the floor of my room.

For more newsblogs
NYTIMES article on Principal who works on stress of his students.

I think that this article had some excellent insight to teenagers and stress during the four most important years. Not only is high school a transition into the real world, but the teenage years are crucial health times in terms of eating, sleep, and excercise. We are supposed to be getting about ten hours of sleep at night...some of us barely manage five between doing homework after sports and waking up early to go to school.

The way I deal with stress is by going up to my room, putting in my favorite CD, and I just lie on my bed not thinking about anything that was going on outside of my room. After I start to feel less stressed out I start thinking of ways that I can deal with what ever is stressing me out.