Running

Running

Running and running, running from what?
Running from the things that I can no longer find, keep, or maybe no longer even hope for, freedom, trust, caring, promises, joy, happiness, and love.
The heart ache, the tears, the emotions?
The unspoken words, that clinch in my throat just waiting to be spoken.
The pain is confusion, lies, truths, heart aches and nothing but mistakes and regrets.
Is this all a dream, is this all real, or is it this crazy mixed up thing called life?
When will it stop, when will it go? What is right and what is wrong?
Is love supposed to be painful? Is caring supposed to feel like confusion?
I run, but not fast enough to escape every feeling and every thought that eventually catches up to me, and then soon drowns me with remorse.
Glancing while running back and forth, I pause a moment to look southward, to see the tiny little laugh and smile that comes from the tiny little bundle of joy and love, that is my nephew.

Running through the woods, I see an image of myself traveling though life.

At this stage, my path is clear and leads me to an arrival point for college studies. My pace quickens as I prepare my applications, pursue interviews, and mount the challenges of exams. And yet the joy of the journey is not confounded by obstacles or the urgency in my gait. For my senses are filled by the beauty of the northern forest – the rush of birds to join their flock for southern sojourn, the falling of the leaves which have changed their seasonal attire. These remind me of my own coming transition. And I am gently reassured by the steadfast warmth of the sun on my back.

I'll tell you what I remember....

Well. I was wandering through this abandoned police station with a blond haired boy [I think his name was Daniel?] and a different light haired girl. We were just lounging around, going to mess up some stuff, when I suddenly felt this chilling wind/vibe through my spine.

I turned and saw it was the basement...which mind you was quite eerie.

Alone in the darkness
I run and hide
The monsters are back
And they're chasing me
Where can I hide?
Where can I go?
There's nothing but
The open field that
Surrounds me
As they approach me
From all angles
I'm trapped
There's nowhere left
For me to go
What can I do?
Nothing
I;m defeated
As I relinquish myself
To my inner demons

Uh ah uh ah
I breath deep as I finish running around my field the third time
My ears sting from the cool October weather
My dog gallops beside me
I kick the leaves out of my way
He brushes my leg
I feel his soft fur as he runs past
I hear the wind whistling a tune
My eyes get dry from the wind
I close them, and then open again
My dog spies a squirrel
He chases after it