cry

A few years ago, when the hot summer heat had struck its highest, we got the call that we were all invited to go to my Aunt’s house for a barbeque and a swim. Later they said that they were going to have a bonfire and roast marshmallows. All of us were very excited to go have a nice cool dip in the pool and play Marco Polo or some sort of tag underwater. We couldn’t wait to sink our teeth into a still hot off the grill burger or hot dog. But all of that was going to change...if only we had known it earlier.
It was almost noon when we started getting ready to leave getting our pool tubes and goggles and stuff like that. My mom had made her ‘famous’ chip-dip. It has refried beans, sour cream, taco seasoning, salsa, scallions, and mexican cheese. She had also brought some chips to go with the dip. We all hopped into the car and my dad backed up the red van to the end of the driveway and stopped to look at the oncoming traffic. Nothing was coming so he pulled out and drove straight up the road until he came to a red light at the intersection. We turned to the right and we watched the other cars just sitting waiting for the red light to turn green again. It was a nice sunny day and my dad decided to put on his sunglasses that...don’t tell him this but...make him look like a dork...any way, he continued driving up the deserted street towards where there would be a stop sign to where we would turn left. Along the way, we saw the street on the right side of the road and saw my Great Grandpa about to turn the opposite direction we were heading. But it’s a good thing that he didn’t go our direction for what was about to happen next.

I saw your reaction when you heard
And I laughed,
And cried at the same time.

I laughed because I am free,
Because I'm me,
And I can do what I want.

I cried because you still
Hold on to me
And it makes me sad.

I didn't let
one
tear
leak.

Instead I just
closed the
door and
stabbed myself with
music,
letting the
pressure inside of
me
bubble and
fizz,
curdling with the
melodies until I
was sure that
I wouldn't
break.

At least I didn't
cry.
Kept it together.
Proved that
I really am
growing
up.

(Not willing and
too stupid
to accept that
sometimes,

tears can

tiny drops
spring
from nowhere
burning my eyes
two twin rivers,
the smallest
in the world,
dripping down,
'til they reach
the floor
ignoring
the hand
that swipes them
away
all those words:
"don't cry"
"It's going to be fine"
Forgotten

As I cry
My tears wash away the dust that
Is my pain.

They Water the seedlings
In the dirt that is my mind,
Now the plants begin grow.

They strenthen the river of time
So it will flow faster,
And new times will come,
My sorrow will pass.

So com what may,
Keep raining tears,
My pain will GROW away.