never

So
After careful speculation
I have decided to help Shadow Girl
Why I decided that
I do not know
Maybe it’s because I now have a new reason
To go back to his cave
And see him again
Or maybe its because I just want him
To finally be happy
Either way
Something interesting is going to happen.
Editor's note: To catch the whole series click on keyword "boy" above.

Its been the longest time since I’ve written anything
I try not to think of the boy anymore
And I’ve tried going in the sun again
I burned
In the months I’ve been staying in my Kapok tree
I have gotten quite pale
And the sun is quite painful
The poet still comes every new moon
And its always a pleasure to have him there
It gets my mind off of things
I have heard that the girls still visit the boy
And I have heard something new
The Shadow Girl
She wants to take The boy into the sun
It hurts down into the deepest recesses of my heart
But on top of that
He wants to go with her
I have heard that when she is at his cave
He is always smiling
So bright and magnificent
I wish I could have seen that
And sadly I still wish that I can
One night
She came to my tree
And wanted to talk to me
She said that she needs help
She wants the boy to go with her
And she wants me to help her
She wants to know if he wants to go
How to ask him
When and where to go

The boy…
I feel as if I should give up thinking of him,
But the poet’s poem just makes me think more.
I wish the poet never went to see him,
I wish he never wrote about him.
My new goal in life to forget.
To forget about the boy,
About his cave and the girls,
About all of the time I spent there.
I’m going to stop going out to see the poet
And I’m going to restart my life.

The Poet's Poem

I wrote about the girl,
The girl in the kapok tree,
Her life,
And her darkness.
The boy from the cave saw it,
And a look of surprise came to his eyes,
His deep and dark eyes
That hid so much pain.
The eyes that she writes so much about.
His face was docile,
But I could see it.
The look was a sad one,
One of nostalgia,
One of longing.
He looked down,
And then to the sky,
To escape my gaze,
Looking for answers about the girl.
He said nothing,
I slowly walked away.

Another new moon,
Another night that the poet will come over to write.
He got me outside in the dark,
To sit at the base of my tree,
But now he wants me to go on walks with him.
I’m not sure about that.
As I sit at the base of my tree,
I look to the sky and immediately see Orion.
I remember pointing that out to the boy.
I ponder for a bit when I realize something;
The poet is late.

Last night,
I didn’t go to sleep at the regular time.
It was the night of a new moon,
And I thought that it would be nice to watch the stars.
She always talked about the stars with me.
She’d point out constellations,
And the first one would always be Orion.
I wonder if she is watching the stars tonight,
Or even if she’s thinking of me
Because I can’t stop thinking of her,

I haven’t seen her in months…
I wonder why she left.
She never gave a warning,
Never said goodbye.
Did I say something,
Or was it something I didn’t do?
All of these other girls are starting to annoy me.
I wish that they would leave me alone.
This is my cave,
And I am the only one that needs to be here,
Except for her.
I never minded the girl being here.

It’s been a month,
And tonight will be the darkest night,
Tonight there will be a new moon.
I have waited for this night to come,
And I have waited for the poet.
Tonight he will ask me to leave the safety of my tree,
And I will,
But only because it’s dark.
I refuse to go out in the sun.
I pace for hours waiting for him,
Worrying that he wouldn’t show,

I’ve realized that the poet,
The one that came on that dark dark night,
Comes to my Kapok tree to write once a month,
But only on the darkest nights,
The nights of the New Moon.
He knows that I am watching him,
And he even writes me some poems sometimes.
Occasionally I’ll write poems to him too,
And they’re always about the boy in the cave,
The boy who never truly lived.
He says he likes my poems,
And I like his although I don’t say so.
I have a feeling he knows though.
The topics of his poetry change like the seasons.
His poetry goes from dark,
To sweet,
To light and airy,
And the seasons go from winter
To spring,
To Summer
He dares me to come out of my tree.
I wouldn’t have to come out in the sun,
Going out in the dark would be good enough for him,
That’s all he’s done anyways.
Maybe next time… I think.
Next time he comes,
I’ll be ready to go out,
But I’ll only be ready to go out in the dark.

Days have passed,
Then weeks,
Then months.
I just sit in my kapok tree.
No one visits me anymore,
So all I do is silently sit here.
I don’t even notice the world anymore.
I don’t really know why I feel this way.
I shouldn’t miss him,
But I do.
He occupied such a large chunk of my life,
A part that I’ll never get back.
One night,
One of the darkest I’ve seen,

I returned home to my Great Kapok tree,
Telling myself that I did the right thing in order to save my sanity,
And my heart,
But my heart tells me to go back.
My head says that he won’t notice me gone,
Not for a day,
Not for a year,
Not ever.
With all of the girls there,
He will never notice,
But I still want to go back.
I debate with myself for days whether or not to go back,

I have decided that today will be my last visit,
That last time that I will sit with him,
The last time I’ll talk with him.
Since the other girls have showed up,
A cloud has been forming over me
That will only be getting darker and darker as the days go on.
Their conversations are filling with meaning,
And they are all growing closer and closer to him.
There is now always another there,
Another girl at the mouth of the cave with him.
There’s no place for me anymore,
Not at that cave,
And I am starting to believe not anywhere at all.
I have to leave
Because everyday I become more and more like Shadow Girl.
I wait and wait for a time I can talk to him,
A time when no one else is around.
I want to at least say good bye,
But I have waited so long,
I don’t think I’ll ever get chance.
Silently,
I get up and walk away,
With only a few glances back.
He never noticed me leaving

I went to his cave again today.
There was another there,
A girl who I easily recognized,
And she was talking to him.
It doesn’t really bother me when she talks to him.
She doesn’t care if he lives or not.
All she wants is someone to talk to
Because even though she goes out in the sun,
Somehow she is always in a shadow.
I think she’s just as lonely as him sometimes…
I don’t usually join in on there conversation
Because when they talk,
The words have no meaning.
I just wait until she goes
And then I just sit with him and talk.
When he talks to me,
Everything he says is deep and has meaning.
Today we talked about his past,
About how there was once a girl who took him for a walk in the sun.
When he turned to take a look around,
She disappeared
And he hasn’t seen her since.
After he said that,
I understood why he didn’t want to go out,
To live or be alive.
He had actually live for a very short time,
But he got hurt so bad,

Everyday I go to the cave to see him,
And to talk to him,
But the other girls have discovered him now;
The boy who never truly lived.
Sometimes when I go to see him,
They are already there talking to him,
And trying to get him to go out for a walk,
To leave the cave and finally live.
I was the first to find him,
The first to notice him,
And to tell the truth,