wishes

And where's my
Knight in shining armor?
Where's his white horse?
His polished saddle?
His valiant beast-slaying?
His eyes as blue as sapphires?
His voice like a dream?

And where's my
Golden braid?
Where's my gorgeous vocals?
My bread and cheese?
My soft, feather bed?
My favorite novels?
My impossibly high tower?

And where's your
Story book?
Where's your colored pictures?
Your bedtime tale?
Your comfy pajamas?
Your mother's soft voice?
Your father tucking you in?

And where's my
Head gone?
Where's my sagacity?
My maturity?
My sense of realism?
My textbooks and dead, white men?
My 10-page essay?

It's gone.

Just for this moment
When I can remember
Wishing as a young girl
In my teddy-bear pajamas
That someday
My prince would come.

A paper crane
On my bookshelf
Reminds me
Of you

I see
The old
Origami
You made me

Back when
We were
Going out

The butterfly
Made from a
Worksheet we
Had
In Spanish class

The first
And most
Beautiful

It's dusty
From sitting
In my car
From Eighth grade
Science class

From not being
Looked at
Or touched
In a year

There's
The shell
The two
Dinosaurs

The star box
That you
Gave me
When we went
And saw
The Pirates
Of Penzance

The gargoyle
That someone
Drew eyes on
In pink pen

A yellow
Paper airplane
And some neat
Little ball
That probably
Took you hours
To make

Looking at
The origami
Reminds me
Of the letter
You sent me
When I went
To conservation camp

The one
Where you say
We should hang
At the Block Party
Where you write
"I Love You"
In a secret code
You made up
Yourself

The one
Where you drew
Tic-Tac-Toe
With more Xs
Than Os and
Drew a big X
By connecting
The little ones

Scribbled

I wish I
Could say
What I want
To say

I wish I
Could feel
What I want
To feel

I wish I
Could hear
What I want
To hear

I wish I
Could be
Who I want
To be

And then
I wake up

I used to wish
That I was Peter Pan

I never wanted to grow up

Drama
Guys
Sticky situations
Paying rent
Holding a job

Yuck

Sure
I wanted to be old enough
To get my license and drive a car

That's about it

I hated change
And everything
That came with it

The pain
The insecurity
The long nights

Wondering
What I'd do without
The teachers that'd
Stuck by me
That held me up

Every time
Change occured
I'd cry and be
Depressed

8th grade graduation
Was the most horrifying
Experience of my life

I didn't want to go
To high school
And leave Elfman

I was leaving Mr. H
Who had become a
Great mentor and friend

I was a mess

I knew I'd have my friends
But most of them didn't
Understand what I
Was going through

I didn't want to talk
With my mom or anyone
For that matter

I curled up inside
And cried to myself

I got to high school
It wasn't too bad
I started enjoying it
A few of my teachers
Were pretty cool

Oh how I hope
That my
sad
Little wishes
Would someday
Be granted,
That
My knight in shining armor
Appears,
At least have someone
Like me,
For me
Or that
I someday
have the
Perfect
Body type,
Or
That I manage
To get into
College,
Or that
I even spell
College
Right
On my application.
Maybe,
That I even catch
A crayfish
By tomorrow,
Or maybe,
That I could
Fit in