H-sc-I-ary-V

I had the little
Pale yellow slip of paper
With my I.D. number on it
Ready in my timid hand.

Your office lights were off
And door locked.

We had planned to meet
Exactly when I had shown up,
So why weren't you there?

You know how
Scary and important this test it
And how scary and important the results are,
So if you're the only person who can give me
My results,
Why didn't you show?

Oh yeah,
You were out with your friends in
NYC.

Damn,
Another weekend
Of worry and 'what if's.

Thanks.

I drift in and out
Of needing someone to
Go with me.
I drift in and out
Of thinking it could be possible,
It could happen.
I drift in and out
Of imaging a 'negative' printed on a single
Black and white line.

I may drift in and out but
I know that I need to go soon
Before I drift one way
To the extreme
And forget how to
Stand up
Again.

You were a needle sharing whore
Who gave sex for drugs
With dark strangers.
When you woke up
And saw the deep colors your life had suddenly changed,
You decided to change.
Got clean
Found an apartment
Went back to school
And got tested.
You said that is came up
"Negative"
But I'm still scared that there is more to this story
Than you were willing to tell me.
I guess I should have thought of that before
I invited you over that night,
I guess I should have thought of a lot of things,
But I didn’t
And now I’m scared
And praying for another “negative”
Because I know your words can’t be trusted.